Welcome To My Messed Up Life
by butterflygurl2468
Summary: I just moved here. With my mom and three sisters from our past. I'm running. I plan on being alone. That is til I meet him and his friend. He brings the best of me out. I, Clare Dianna Edwards, did not expect to fall in love. Life is going down hill.
1. Moving To A new Place with Familiar Face

**Welcome To My Messed Up Life**

Chapter 1

_Moving To A new Place with Familiar Faces_

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"Come on Clare! Were waiting on you. Be in the moving truck in ten or were gonna leave you." My mom screamed at me. I sighed. Today we were moving to a new place. New home, new school, new friends, and new me. Just new everything. I didn't think I was ready for this, but I new I needed a new start. The entire family needed a new start.

"Okay Mom, I'm on my way down." I screamed back at her. I grabbed the last box I had to put in the moving truck. I swear life could be easier on me.

I was the middle child of five siblings. A lot of kids right? Yea, I totally agree with ya. The saddest thing is, there's four girls and only one boy. There was my older half brother, Lane, my oldest sister, Darcy, then me, my younger sister, Madison, and then the littlest one, Brianna. A lot of kids I know. I wouldn't really change anything though. Its just my family for ya.

My brother, Lane, is now 18 years old. He turned that on May 29. My mom was excited for it. Don't get me wrong, she loved her step son, but after everything he caused this family she was happy to get rid of him. We all were. Even me who saw nothing but the good things in people. You'll understand everything later as the story goes on.

Darcy was next. She was going to be 17 on September 8. Yea I know to close in age if you ask me. Just weird how everything turns out. She has had a bad past and everything. She was gonna finish off her last year in school then moving to Kenya to help build churches. I was proud that she was making something of her life after everything that had happen.

Then comes my younger sister Madison. She had turned 13 on April 1. She was going into 8th grade. She had epilepsy. She uses it to her advantage too. She may seem a little slow in the head and, not being mean, she is too. Don't let that fool you though, cause she is really smart for her age. She just doesn't like showing it off. She is part of the reason we moved to this small town.

Brianna was the last of us. She was almost 8. She was turning 8 on November 18. She, like Madison, has epilepsy. Hard to believe it with how different they are. They both look like each other so much it isn't even funny. Them two plus Darcy look so much like each other that it isn't even funny.

I sighed thinking about everything we'd been through since I was in the seventh grade. Where everything broke through. It was hard living in the past but yet I couldn't get away from it either. I just wanted to hide and die. Everything was so hard on me that I couldn't figure anything out anymore. My life was so messed up and screwed up.

As soon as I got in the car the first thing I did was take my mp3 player out and put it in my ears. My two favorite songs came on. 'Thunder' and 'Someone Like You' both by Boys Like Girls. I smiled getting my note book out and jotting down idea's. Everything around me had me inspired. It was just amazing.

**Degrassi**

"Clare wake up were at our new home." I heard Darcy tell me as I yawned and got up. I couldn't believe we were here already. It was still the end of summer. We had about two more weeks before we had to be in school. Darcy was going into 12th, I was going into 10th, Madison was going into 8th, and Brianna was going into 2nd grade. Yup, good old family. "You still having dreams about him?" She ask me a little frown on her face.

"Dreams about who? I didn't see nothing but a white screen in my sleep." I told her with a confused look on my face. She gave me a weird look also.

"You kept whispering K.C in your sleep. Mom finally turned the music up from having to hear you." Darcy said to me giving me a mad look. "I swear after her and dad divorcing she's just gotten worse with everything." She said ranting on and on about all that. I got a hard look on my face going back to my normal self. I didn't like really showing my emotions to my family.

"Just stop right there. I'm tired of hearing about all that. We all know that it was Lane's fault about what happen. Just drop it." I told her running into our new house. I ran up the stairs and claimed the second biggest room in the house. It was a dark blue. My favorite color. Darcy got her's a purple, Madison had hers red, and Brianna had the last one pink. "My home sweet home." I mumbled under my breath.

"Hey you wanna go explore our new town with me?" I heard Darcy ask me after knocking on my door. I sighed and thought about it before agreeing with her. It would be good to explore this place.

"Yea hang on and let me get some stuff put up. I'll meet you at the car in ten minutes." I told her and she left with a 'kay'. I put my clothes up and some other stuff in record time. Just then Brianna came in the room.

"I wanna go with yall." She said in a whiny voice. You could tell she had fell a sleep in the car on the way down here. She was still a little groggy from her nap.

"No, you can't go with us." I told her and she started crying. Just then mom came by with Madison. She gave me a stern look. I hated that look.

"Now Clare, its not gonna hurt you and Darcy to take the younger two. Yall all can go exploring." She told me and left me there with two smirking little kids.

I sighed and we walked down the stairs out the door and to the car. We finally got to the car door. Darcy gave me a weird look asking with her eyes. "Mom made me. You two have to get in the back." I told them and they started complaining. Darcy and I just sighed. "Sorry Darce. I didn't want to. Had no choice on the matter."

"I know Clare. They just stay stuck up our butts is all." She told me with a smile. She started the car and off we went into town. We drove around for a while til we came to a stop at a restraunt. It was called 'The Dot'. It was a cute little cafe. "You got some money?" Darcy ask me taking out her money. I nodded my head yea. "Okay come on little one's let's go."

"Darcy why are we here? I'm hungry and I wanna go to the park." Brianna said making me roll my eyes. The park had to many memories.

"Were going to eat here. Now come on Brianna and Madison. Let's go." I told them even if she did ask Darcy. We got out of the car and went in. "Now you two go pick a seat for us." I told them and they did as they were told to. We went up to the counter to ask a couple of questions.

"So anything good in this little small town?" Darcy ask the person behind the counter. He looked up and he was a little cute. He had blonde hair just the way my sister liked them. I could tell she liked him already and by the was he was looking he liked her too. "Well?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, but yea there are a couple of good places here. So you new to the town?" He ask her beginning to flirt with her. I laughed then heard someone yell and the cute blonde dude looked up.

"Yo, Peter flirting with the girls already?" The dude, I guessed was Peter, looked up at the name and smiled. He started laughing. Just then a girl about my age came from behind the dude who just entered.

"So what if I was Sav? You didn't waste no time getting Anya." He said and they started laughing. He looked at us again. "Oh I'm sorry. Let me introduce everyone. I'm Peter, that's Sav and the girl behind him is his little sister Ali."

"Its nice to meet yall. My name is Darcy and this is my little sister Clare. Do you three go to some school called Degrassi?" Darcy ask them trying to know somebody there.

"Yea we all go there." The Ali girl said. "What grade are you two gonna be in?" She ask us mostly staring at me since I was closer to her age.

"I'm gonna be in 10th and Darcy is gonna be in 12th." I told them and her eyes lit up a little. "What grade are you all in?"

"I'm in 10th with you, but my brother and Peter are with your sister." Ali said and took my hand walking me to some people. "You have got to meet some people." She told me with a smile. We went up to some dude and a girl who looked to be pregnant. My two little sisters saw this and Brianna came with me, while Madison went up to Darcy. They had always done this. "Who's the little girl following you?"

"Oh I'm sorry Ali. This is my younger sister Brianna. She is the youngest of us all. I have another younger sister who is in 8th grade. Her name is Madison." I told her then Brianna gave me a look. "Sorry. Brianna this is Ali."

"Hi Ali my name is Brianna I'm going into 2nd grade and I'm 7. I'll be eight in November." She said with a big beam of a grin on her mouth. Ali just gave her a weird look and I laughed.

"Well, okay, anyway, here we are." She said stopping in front of the people. "Clare this is Jenna and K.C. Guys this is Clare." She said but when she said K.C I about ran away.

"K.C your back!" Brianna said going up to hug him. He smiled and picked her up. She gave him a look. "Why did you and Clare break up? You were her bestest boyfriend ever." Brianna said to him and he smirk at her. I just rolled my eyes.

"Well, we just had our differences. Sorry if I didn't come see you. I got busy and had to move away." He told her which wasn't a complete lie.

"Of all people I meet on my first day here it just has to be you." I told him with sarcasm in my voice. I was still mad at him, but the same time still liked him a little. He was my first love. What can I say?

"Well, since I don't know what's going on here I'm just going to assume you guys know each other." Ali said and I had to laugh. He was one of my first boyfriends.

"He was my first boyfriend. We go back to about fifth grade." I told her and she started getting mad. "We didn't start dating til about seventh grade."

"How do you remember that so freaking well?" K.C ask me and I gave him a frown. He still didn't really know about what was all going on.

"Because that was when my hell life started. That's was the time I needed you most and instead of getting a shoulder to cry on I caught you cheating on me with her." I told him pointing at Jenna. I grabbed Brianna's hand. "Come on Bri, we got to get Darcy and go home."

"But we haven't ate anything yet." She complained to me. I gave her a sigh and told her something I really didn't want to tell her.

"We can get something from somewhere else and take it to the park." I told her and we left. I just gave K.C daggers while he put his head down. He cheated on me with her, just to get her pregnant. Real smart K.C. Real smart.

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_Okay, so I know this isn't really in the characters of Degrassi! They won't exactly be like they are on the show! Pretty much anything in the show won't be the same! I will have some stuff the same on here like it is on the show, but not exactly! You'll see what is and what isn't the same on the show! _

_This is kinda based on my life a lot really! Not everything is the same, but most of it is! I got tired of all the drama and needed a way to vent before I ended up killing myself! Sorry if you don't like the story! =( Its really just a way for me to vent and that's it! Nothing more and nothing less! =( Sorry if its not what you wanted, but it makes me feel better right now!_

_Hope you enjoy the story! =) Any comments would be nice on it! Nothing to mean though! I just would like to know what you guys think about it! =) It would be nice to hear what you have to say! So what are you waiting for? Hit that review button down there and tell me what ya think! =) Oh and Eli and Adam will be on the next chapter I promise!_

_Bye for now! =))_


	2. Meeting New Faces with a Fight

**Welcome To My Messed Up Life**

Chapter 2

_Meeting New Faces with a Fight_

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It was now the first day of school. The one place I could get away from everything in my life. I smiled to myself. It was the only good place that I actually liked being. It was really and truly the best place in the entire world.

I looked at my schedule and saw that my next class was 11th grade Advanced English then it was time for lunch. I was suppose to meet up with Ali at lunch but after hearing her hang out with Jenna I told her I'd pass and try to get to know other people.

I promised myself I wasn't going to become friends with anybody, but since I was already friends with Ali I thought it wouldn't hurt to become friends with anybody else. If anything it gave me an excuse to not hang out with her and Jenna. Sometimes you just got to go with the flow.

I walked into my class and sat in a seat not paying attention to were I was sitting. I finally looked up and saw that I was sitting behind some dude all dressed in black. Oh great. What a great way to start my school year I told myself sarcastically. I really didn't want to be involved with him for sure. He was the bad boy type and I was done with those kind.

"Alright class, this year your going to have partners. I'm going to call out your partners." Mrs. Dawes said and started calling off names. I didn't listen til she said my name. "Clare Edwards and Eli Goldsworthy." She said and I groaned knowing I had a dude for a partner. I looked over at Adam who I had met earlier.

"Hey Adam, who is that?" I ask him and he pointed to the guy in front of me. "You have got to be kidding me." I told him and he shook his head.

"No I'm not kidding. He's not that bad. He's one of my friends." He told me whispering it to me since I was whispering to him right now. Adam was cool and my only friend as of right now besides Ali, who I didn't wanna hang out with. "You still eating lunch with me and my friends?" He ask me talking loud now. I nodded. "Cool." He said and went back to his work.

"Now," Mrs. Dawes said getting me out of my thought, "I want you and your partner to get to know each other. You have the rest of the period to do so. Go and find your partner." She told us and Eli turned to Adam.

"Yo Adam, who is this Clare Edwards girl?" He ask him and that was when I noticed his green eyes. They were a pretty green but I had done promised myself no guys this year. After my luck with them I'm not going there again. Who knows though, there's always room for change.

"That would be me." I told him holding my hand up a little. Adam started laughing a little. "What is so freaking funny? I swear you guys here are more weird then at my old school."

"Ah, so your new here. So what was your old school like?" Eli ask me and I just rolled my eyes. Then he changed the question. "Better yet why are you here?" I hated saying why so I lied to him a little.

"My mom just wanted a fresh start." I told him and he nodded his head like he understood. I just rolled my eyes at this.

"Divorced parents I get it." He told me and I wanted to slap him right there. I don't know if its cause he kinda guessed it right, or cause it wasn't exactly the truth.

"No my parents aren't divorced." I told him with anger in my eyes. I didn't want people knowing about my life at home. It wasn't any of there business. "So you got any siblings?" I ask him changing the subject.

"Yea, I have a little sister who is in the second grade." He told me and I laughed. "Oh no don't tell me you have a little brother in there too. If he makes a move on her I'm killing his ass now. Just letting you know."

"No, I don't have a brother in the second grade. I do have a sister in the second grade and one in the eighth grade and another in the twelfth grade." I told him and his eyes kinda came out of his head at how many of us there were. Just then Darcy came in.

"Clare I have to go pick up Brianna from school. She got in a fight with another little girl there. I swear she needs to learn to control her anger. Do you think you and Maddi can make it home alright?" She ask me and I nodded my head. Eli jumped in all of a sudden.

"Don't worry about it. I can get them home safe and sound if need to be." Eli told her and she nodded her head. I just rolled my eyes.

"No worry's Darce. We can mange. Were big girls." I told her and she smiled. Just then she frowned at me at the same time.

"Just make sure your careful. She hasn't came crying to me just yet, but I'm pretty sure she will sooner or later. Holly J has a sister in her grade and Holly J can be pretty mean, so I'm sure her sister can too." Darcy told me and I sighed. Not again with this. Then Adam chimed in.

"No I've meet her sister and she's as sweet as can be. Holly J is going out with Declan who is the twin brother to my girlfriend. No worry's there." He told us with a smile. I sighed with relief. Then Darcy was off to go get Brianna.

"So anything you want to tell us about your family?" Eli ask me and I gave him a death glare. I didn't like talking about my family at school.

"No I can't really stand my family and this is the one place I can get away from it all. Nobody at this school is finding anything out about my personal life with my family." I told him with my arms crossed. He smirked at me.

"Is that a challenge?" He ask me and I gave him another one of my death glares.

**Degrassi**

It was finally time for lunch and I couldn't wait to go eat. I would finally get to meet the rest of Adam's little group. It made me smile knowing I had friends that I didn't even try for. I didn't want friends but got them anyway. My mom would be proud to know I'm normal. Not that she cares.

"Hey Clare were over here." I heard Adam's voice. He sat with three girls and it looked like Sav and some other dude. Weird how there were that many of them. Then I noticed Eli over there too. Great, just great. "Clare this is my girlfriend Fiona, her twin brother Declan, his girlfriend Holly J, her best friend Anya, and her boyfriend Sav." He told me and I smiled.

"So Sav, you not gonna go sit with Peter and the others?" I ask him and everybody gave me some shock looks. I guess it was weird for me to know him. Figure that one out.

"Nope, but Peter seemed pretty upset when your sister didn't show up for lunch." He told me and I laughed stealing one of Eli's grapes that I forgot to get myself. He didn't seem to mind. "So why aren't you sitting with Ali and the others?"

"Cause there sitting over there. Oh and Darcy had to go pick up Brianna since she decided to get in a fight with some other little girl. I swear she never been the same since... Never mind." I said stopping myself from saying something I would regret.

"Got ya and Ali told me about your little encounter with them, and plus you could hear it from across the room. Darcy looked pissed when she saw who you were yelling at and your other sister kinda seemed happy to see him." Sav said and everyone looked back and forth trying to figure it out.

"Who are we talking about?" Eli ask me and then I noticed I was going back to my past again. Just then flashbacks were coming back one after another. I couldn't handle it anymore and ran out of the lunch room almost in tears. Just to many memories. I didn't notice two boys following me.

"Hey what's up with you?" K.C ask me as he came up behind me and took me by the arm. I glared at him.

"Leave me the hell alone. I still can't believe to this day you did that to me." I told him yelling at him pretty much. "Of all people you do it to me and in my time of need at that." I told him yelling still.

"Its not my fault nobody in your family likes you." He told me yelling at me like I was to him. Nobody talked bad about my family. He new it too.

"My family does to like me they just don't seem to show it." I told him the last part in a whisper. Sometimes I felt like I was raising myself with the help from my sister. The only one who understood and was leaving me next year. Just like everyone did. "And you may be right on that one. At least I have my older sister."

"Oh please she's been going around gloating about going to Kenya next year so you don't have her much longer. Leaving you in charge or your sisters." He told me with a smirk knowing he was getting to my weakness.

"Don't go there with my sisters please. You always brought them up in fight. I can't help how the lord wants my life to turn out. I still can't believe you broke up with me cause I didn't want to have sex with you. So you go to some blonde cheerleader and get her knocked up? That's messed up K.C. I'm glad you did that though. It shows me that all guys are the same and it proves I don't want to be tied down when I get older." I told him yelling really loud. Just then Madison came over to us.

"Clare your back with K.C! Finally I've missed him and so has Momma." She told me coming from the lunch room. He smirked at me. I just glared.

"See they all miss me at the house." He told me trying to lean in for a kiss. I slapped him in the face but he kept leaning in to me.

"Hey! Let me go you jackass." I told him trying to get out of his grip but he wouldn't let me. Finally after a lot of screaming and squirming Eli came out of no were.

"She said let her go. I think you should before you get hurt in the face." He told him and K.C did as he was told. I sighed thankful he was gone.

"Clare, I want K.C back in the family. Who cares about your purity ring. You were the only one to want one. Everyone has sex as a teen. Its normal." Madison told me. See what I mean about her really being smart and not showing it? I just glared at her.

"Madison Ann Edwards if you don't get to class now god so help you." I told her and she went off fighting back about how she wanted K.C back in the family. I just rolled my eyes.

"So what exactly was that all about?" Eli ask me making me jump forgetting he was there. I sighed and he smirked at me. I did miss K.C for a while, but after this I was so over him. "Sorry." Eli mumbled about scaring me.

"Its okay, and I'll explain it some other time if your lucky. Since you did help me though, I may just tell you anyway. Later though cause it is a long story." I told him and he agreed with me. I just smiled at how he was acting with it. It made me feel better on it all.

"Anytime your ready to tell me Blue Eyes." He whispered in my ear making me blush and him smirk then he walked off. I just stared at where he had just been recently.

The things this boy makes me do.

**Degrassi**

It was the end of the day meaning school was out finally. When I got to my locker I saw Maddi and Eli both waiting on me. They were staring each other down. This should be interesting. I went up to them and got my locker combo in putting my stuff up for the day. Thank god for no homework.

"You ready to go?" Eli ask me as he lead us to his car. No freaking way that he drove a hearse. I use to kinda want one when I was younger. I was a strange kid.

"Is that really your car?" I ask him still not believing it. It was so cool. I just couldn't believe it. Just then Adam came up to us. He had been running.

"Dude Drew has practice so I was wondering if you could take me home again?" He ask while Eli just nodded. "Sweet thanks dude." He told him.

"No problem Adam." Eli told him then turned to me. "Oh and Clare yes this really is my car. I take it you like it." He told me with a smirk. I just rolled my eyes.

"Yea I like it. I wanna ride in the back seats." I said getting in the car with Maddi following behind me. I smiled at liking the back cause it was unreliably comfortable. Just my opinion though. "I could get use to this." I said making them laugh.

We dropped Adam off first then I climbed in the front seat before Madison could. I liked using her full name most of the time cause it bugged her so much. It was fun since I had to watch after her all the time.

"So how old are you?" Eli ask me trying to break the quiet. I smiled at this and was about to answer when Madison beat me to it. I groaned.

"She's 14 but she will be 15 September 1st." She told him with a smirk while I just gave her an angry look for answering for me. I could answer for myself you know.

"That's cool, cause I just turned 16 not to long ago. On July 29th." He said and I smiled then frowned. I was falling in love. Something I promised myself I wouldn't do.

"That's neat." I told him with a smile then noticed mom was home already. "Oh great our so called mother is home." I said sarcastically to myself but Eli heard me.

"Mind if I come in with you so we can get to know each other for English?" He ask me and I thought about it. Darcy would be asking questions later, while mom wouldn't notice, Madison would get mad cause it wasn't K.C, and Brianna would follow him everywhere. Gotta love family.

"Sure why not." I told him getting out of the car and helping Madison out. "Now Maddi, if you got homework you better get it done before you go and play." I told her and she nodded while rolling her eyes. She ran in the house while I walked in with Eli. Brianna saw and came running.

"Clare, your home! Wait who's he?" She ask me looking at Eli. He smiled at her got down to her level and looked her in the eyes.

"I'm Eli and what's your name pretty little girl?" He ask her and she giggled which meant she liked him. Whenever she did that you were good.

"My name is Brianna Marie Edwards and you, Eli, are my boyfriend now." She told him making me burst out laughing by the look on his face. This couldn't get much better.

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_Oh that is so something my little sister would do! =) You really gotta love family! The ages are really based off my siblings! The only thing is I don't have an older sister. Just a older half brother and two younger sisters. I put Darcy in the story since she really was Clare's older sister in the show._

_Madison, who does my younger sister, is gonna turn 13 on April 1. Brianna, who does my youngest sister, will be 8 on November 18. And Lane, who does my annoying older half brother, will be 18 on July 29. I'm not sure why gave Eli that birthday, but I did._

_Welp just to let you know both my sisters really do have epilepsy in real life. I don't know if I mentioned that last chapter. Now I have, so I hope you enjoyed it! =) Let me know what you think._

_Bye for now! =)_


	3. The Dream and fun with Friends

**Welcome To My Messed Up Life**

Chapter 3

_The Dream and fun with Friends_

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_I was in a dark room. There was little light, but enough to see the people in front of me. I hadn't seen them in months. In front of me was my grandparents and dad. It had been years since I had seen my Grandpa. I was nine last time I saw him. He had died of Lung Cancer, but of course I was to young to know exactly what that was back then._

_"Guys? Where am I? What's going on here?" I ask looking terrified yet excited to see the people I loved most in my life. They all just left me back then. No explanation for anything. Just left me._

_"Give him a chance." My dad told me. I sat there trying to figure them out._

_"It will be worth it in the end." My grandma told me with a big huge smile. I was still confused. What were they talking about here? Always were some crazy people._

_"You need him just as much as he needs you." It was my grandpa talking now. "He could help you. Its been a while since either of you have been happy. He's a good guy. Give him a chance." He told me smiling. It took a lot to get him to smile from what I remember. This guy there talking about must be good._

_"What guy are you talking about?" I ask them. They just smiled at me knowing something I didn't. "Hello guys? Who the freak is he?" I ask screaming._

_"You will find out with time. You already know who it is you just don't know you know it yet." My grandpa told me. He never did like seeing me sad. "Bye Tatorbug. We love you." And with that they were all gone. A nickname I haven't heard in a good long while from any of them. It made me want to cry._

All of a sudden I got up to the sound of my alarm o'clock. I sighed having to get the younger two and Darcy up. She wasn't really a morning person. I was pretty much stuck doing everything. It didn't bother me that much. It gave me excuses to not have to hang out with people form school. Of course that only makes my mom more mad knowing I didn't have anything to do on a Friday or Saturday night.

I got up and got dressed applying a little bit of make up. I just started wearing it not to long ago. I went into Maddi's room with her medicine in hand. Giving her everything she needed and then doing the same to Brianna. The door bell went off so I went to answer the door.

"What are you doing here?" I ask Eli as I opened the door to him and Adam. He smirked at me and rolled his eyes at me. Not that I didn't mind but it was so freaking early in the morning.

"Hi Eli how are you? Fine Clare thanks for asking." I just rolled my eyes and let them in. "How come nobody else is awake?" He ask me and I had to think of something quick. I didn't need them knowing I do everything here. Just then I sighed in relief when I saw Darcy come downstairs with Maddi.

"She got up with me, but Bri won't get up. She keeps wanting you." Darcy told me and I smiled going to get her. "Oh the English dudes are here."

"We have names." Eli told her pointing at Adam. "That's Adam and I'm Eli." He told her then looked at Maddi with a mean type stare. "And you, little one, shouldn't be trying to get you sister and that boy together. She doesn't like him anymore." Eli said standing there with a smirk. I went got Brianna and came back down stairs. I was giving her a piggy back.

"I don't care if she likes him or not. Momma said I get my way when ever I want it. I want them together so shove it." Madison said and I sighed knowing she was right. "Now go away so we can go back to our normal lives."

"Believe me I would love to be away from you, but she's my English partner so get use to it. Besides were here for Clare not you." He told her and Darcy just gave me a look. I sighed trying not to laugh. It was just to funny. Madison had finally met her match. I couldn't believe it.

"No worry Eli." Brianna said getting off my back and going to hug Eli. "I like you. You not my boyfriend anymore. Your a big brother." She said and Adam started laughing. "Who are you?"

"My name is Adam." he told her shaking her hand. She smiled at him.

"Bri, he can't be our brother we already have one." Maddi said making my eyes go big. Did she have to say that? "He's not good enough to be our brother." She told her pointing at Eli. "He's trying to get rid of K.C from us."

"So I don't really care Maddi. She's finally a little happy, and Adam you can be my boyfriend." Brianna said making Eli, Darcy, and me fall in a fit of laughter at Adam's face.

"Sorry no can do I have a girlfriend." Adam told her and she sighed while looking up at me. She gave me one of her looks. I new something was fixing to be said.

"You right Clare. Love doesn't exist." Eli gave her and odd look when she said this. I felt bad knowing I was the one who said this. "You always right."

"I'm not always right and I said love doesn't exist for me. You prince charming is still out there somewhere. You just gotta know where to look." I told her with a smile. "Now here's your clothes. Go get dressed or were gonna be late."

"But we won't-" I gave Adam a death glare and smacked him. "Yea your sisters right, we'll be late." She ran up stairs and got dressed. "Why did you just lie to your sister? Did they ever tell you lying was bad and not good?"

"Cause if I don't she'll take forever." There was knock on the door. "I'll get it." I said walking to the door. I opened the door to find Peter. "How did you find out where we live?"

"I ask Sav who got it from Drew, who was told by his step brother Adam who got it from Eli who dropped you off yesterday." He said and Darcy came up and gave him a hug. "Oh and your sister texted me the address too."

"You couldn't of just said the second one first and be done with it?" I ask him as we let him in the house. He shook his head and laughed. "I'm gonna go check on Brianna then I'm gonna go straiten some stuff up in my room."

"We'll come with you." Eli said not wanting to be stuck in a room with my sister. I didn't blame him any. I just nodded my head. "Come on Adam let's go." He told him as Adam stood up and groaned.

"Another girly room here we come. Oh joy." Adam said sarcastically. I just rolled my eyes waiting to see his reaction when he saw it. "Hello annoying- not so girly room." He said when he saw the blue and green everywhere.

"Now you were saying?" I ask him and he just gave me a death glare and I started laughing. I cleaned up a little bit and then we were out the door. Everyone went in different cars to school on this Friday morning. Thank god for school starting on a Thursday this year. I had a lot to be thankful for on that kinda stuff.

**Degrassi**

We were now in lunch. It was just Adam, Fiona, Eli, and me today. I didn't really feel like eating today and hadn't had breakfast so I was good for right now. I'd just eat a snack when I got home. Eli looked over at me with a questioning look.

"Why aren't you eating? We still have three more periods before we can go home. Can you last that long with nothing in your stomach?" He ask me with a real concern. I smiled not believing he actually cared that much.

"Yea I'll be fine. Last school I didn't eat lunch til after fiftieth period. I'm good for right now. I can handle it. I just aint that hungry." I told him and he still didn't seem to take the bate. I sighed and took a grape from his plate like I did yesterday. "There I ate something. Are you happy now?" I ask him and he smirked at me. Fiona and Adam watching furiously. "Well?"

"Yes I'm happy now. Here you can have my grapes. I don't really want them today." He said giving them to me. I just shrugged and started eating them. He took the apple out of his pocket. "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."

"Seriously, you believe all that crap?" I ask him with a laugh. To be honest it was my first real laugh in a very long time. That was when I noticed I was falling for him. I'd only known him two days now and I was already on my way down. I wasn't gonna let it win just yet though.

"No, I don't believe in it. I just think its funny and its worked so far for me." He told me with a smile on his face. The first real smile I've ever seen him do.

"Okay you two can stop flirting now." Adam said and I threw daggers at him and started laughing. "I'm being serious here. The way you are acting and everything is making me sick."

"Your just mad cause you don't have friendship like Clare and I." Eli said putting his arm around my shoulders. I started laughing. Adam was getting a little mad.

"Haha, nah, I don't need that kinda stuff. That means that I have to wait a good while before being with the girl." He said confusing me and I gave him a weird look.

"Um, Adam what are you going on about?" I ask him and he started laughing. I hadn't noticed, but Eli's arm was still on my shoulders. It felt right for it to be like that. Wait what am I saying? Clare stop thinking like that. "Well Adam? I'm waiting."

"You two meet have an instant connection that everyone sees. You two don't see it and keep going on flirting. Then either a girl or guy comes in the picture of the other ones life, where you finally realize you liked each other the whole time." Adam said finishing it off. I just gave him a weird stare.

"Have you been in my movie rack? I thought I had that kept up where people wouldn't find it. Guess I was wrong." I told him and I had Eli and Fiona laughing.

"That's a good one." Fiona told me with a big smile on her face. "Wished I had thought of that one." She said giving me a high five making me laugh. All of a sudden Eli stopped laughing.

"Do you really have a stack of movies like that though?" He ask me and I gave him a weird look as Adam was agreeing with him. I just sighed giving them a look.

"Just cause I act like 'one of the boys' doesn't mean I can't be a little bit of a girl too. Yes I'm like any other girl in the world. I hate scary movies, but love romantic comedy's. Is it that bad?" I ask them and they sighed.

"I new it was to good to be true." Adam said while Eli just nodded his head.

"I know what you mean dude." He told him with a sigh while me and Fiona just rolled are eyes. She decided to change the subject on them.

"So Clare what's the ring for? Its a very pretty ring there." She said and I smiled. I love telling people about the ring cause half the time it scared them away. Maybe it would with this group too. That would make me happy.

"Its a purity ring. Its mean I'm gonna wait til after marriage." I told them and they sat there for a second in silence. Eli was the first one to mess that up.

"I think that's a great idea. Not many girls here are like that. All the other girls are throwing themselves on guys. You and Fiona are about the only normal two here." Eli said and I sat there shocked that it didn't scare them away. That always did the trick. Maybe they were different for the good of it all. I couldn't think like that. I didn't need people in my business though.

"I don't know about me being a normal one, but Eli's right. It is good to see you being different from all the other girls here. Don't you think so Adam?" She ask Adam and he smiled at me.

"Yea, I totally agree with y'all." He said and with all this said the lunch bell rang meaning it was time for class again. Eli had his arm around me the entire time. I didn't notice cause it just felt so right. I layed my head on his shoulder not wanting to go to class.

"I don't wanna go to school." I said and they started laughing. I just rolled my eyes at them and looked over at Fiona. "So are we still on for our sleepover tonight?" I ask her and she smiled.

"Yea I'll be over at your house around five or so if that's okay." She told me and I smiled at her. That was fine with me.

"Yea that's good. See ya then." I told her as we all went to our different classes. Life was good right now. For once, since I was eight, life is actually normal. That's freaking hard to believe.

I knew it wouldn't last long.

* * *

_Haha, drama is on its way! =) Do you still like the story? I think my favorite character on here is Brianna just cause later on she gives Jenna and K.C a piece of her mind! Wops, said to much! It won't be til later later on though! =)_

_Madison can be something else now can't she? My sister don't do exactly this with my parents, but sometimes it feels like it! My dad and grandma aren't really dead I just put it in this story to add to the drama to come. Plus you'll see later on what the dream has to do with this anyway. _

_Oh and my parents aren't really divorced either! Sometimes, it feels like they are though, but there not. Just more to add to the story! =) There still going strong. Plus since her parents did get divorced in the show, I thought I would add that in there too! =) Welp, hope you liked this story so far! More Eli and Clare to come. =) Plus she starts slowly letting him in on secrets. ;) Can you guess some of them?_

_Bye for now! =))_


	4. Eli and Clare Talk

**Welcome To My Messed Up Life**

Chapter 4

_Eli and Clare Talk_

**

* * *

**

It was the end of the day. Adam had gone home with Fiona and Drew while Darcy went and got Brianna and Madison and took them home. She did this to give me and Eli, as she called it, alone time for fun. I had to laugh at that. There wasn't much we were gonna do considering we didn't like each other that way. Well, I kinda liked him but didn't know if he liked me. There was just something about him that made me wonder.

"Why are you so quiet today Blue Eyes?" He ask me as I looked out the window. I wasn't thinking when I said it. And I know regreated it.

"Today would have been her birthday. She would've been sixtythree yet she's not here to celebrate it." I mumbled and he stopped the car in front of my house.

"What are you talking about?" He ask me and I realized what I said and stopped. He didn't need to know of my past. Nobody did. It was one of the reasons we moved.

"Nothing just don't worry about it. Its in the past now. My past doesn't matter anymore." I told him and smiled. I didn't ever cry anymore. Not after everything I had been through. He didn't smile though knowing something was wrong.

"There is something wrong, but I won't pressure you about it." He said and smirked at me. I smiled being so greatful that he understood where I was coming from.

"Thank you, now do you want to come inside before Fiona gets here? We have about a hour or two." I told him looking at the clock in his car. I freaking loved this car. It was so awesome.

"Nah, I really don't want to deal with your sister. Brianna is cool, a little annoying, but cool. Madison on the other hand, is um, don't know how to put it nicely." He said and I laughed at him. I new where he was coming from.

"I know, don't worry about it. How about we just go hang out at the dot?" I ask him and he nodded his head saying that it was okay. "Great let me go put my stuff up and I'll be right back." I told him getting out of the car he stopped me and looked me in the eyes. "What?"

"Nothing. Nevermind just forget it." He told me with a smirk. I just rolled my eyes and smiled while going to put my stuff up. He had something planed in his mind.

"Mom I'm home. I'm fixing to go to the dot with a friend of mine. I've also got Fiona coming over at five for a sleepover." I told her coming in and putting my backpack on a hook. I went upstairs and got what I needed then came back down.

"Okay dear. You and Darcy have helped me out so much this week that you can go out with a friend for a little while. It doesn't bother me none. Just go and have fun." She told me with a big huge smile on her face. Darcy had gone out and done droped the younger two off.

"Are you going with Eli and Adam?" Brianna ask coming down the stairs. "I wanna go too if you are." She said to me making me laugh at this. "Please Clare. Oh please, please."

"No Bria, Eli has done made it clear that h- they just want one on one time with me right now." I said to her stoping myself from calling him a he. Mom would have a cow and start asking questions that I didn't want to answer.

"Fine, but can you bring me back some sprit from there? Mom forgot to buy some again." She told me and I smiled telling her I would. She smiled and huged me. "Thank you Clare. Your the best big sister ever."

"Your welcome." I told her going to the car where Eli was waiting for me. He smiled at me when I got in. He had his radio on and I got excited at the song I heard come on. "Oh my gosh! They have a station that plays this kinda music?"

"Yea why wouldn't they?" Eli ask me with a weird look. The song playing was 'Thunder'. My favorite song in the entire world. "What kinda music do you listen to?"

"I really in truely like this kinda of music, but my family makes me listen to country a lot. I finally got tired of it after a while and started taking my music player with me everywhere." I told him with a laugh. I smiled at him and he started singing along with the song.

_And now I'm itching for the tall grass_

_And longing for the breeze_

_I need to step outside_

_Just to see if I can breathe_

_I gotta find a way out_

_Maybe theres a way out_

_Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer_

_Do you know you're unlike any other?_

_You'll always be my thunder, and I said_

_Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors_

_I don't wanna ever love another_

_You'll always be my thunder_

_So bring on the rain_

"They play this song to much on the radio, but I gotta say that's its a good song. About the only song of there's that I like." He told me and I smiled. It was my all time favorite song.

"Funny cause that's like my most favorite song ever. I'm not even joking." I told him with a smile and just as it ended we were at the dot. The best place in the world. They had some good burgurs.

"Hey guys what can I get ya?" Peter ask us as we sat down in a booth. I looked over and seen Darcy sitting on a stool in front of the counter. So this is where she had been going.

"I just want a sprit and a lage french fries." I told him with a smile then looked over at Eli. It was now his turn to order. He finally noticed us looking at him and smiled.

"I'll have a sprit too. Me and her will share the french fires." I was about to protest when he beat me to it. "I share my food with you at school so you can let me have some of yours." He smirked knowing he was right.

"Fine be like that then." I told him and he just shook his head at me. Hey, no one said I was nice. It was know my turn to smirk at him. "So, what's your little sister like?" I ask him. We didn't talk about family that much. My choice not his.

"Like any other annoying little eight year old." He said muttering it making me laugh. "Her name is Sandra, Sandy as she perfers, Goldsworthy. She is something else I'll tell you now." He told me making me laugh. He did that a lot. Make me laugh. "Why don't you like talking about your family?"

"Its complicated. If I start talking about them then I have to go back to bad memories. I can't handle that right now. When the time comes I may tell you, but til then just let it slide." I told him and he backed down from it. I know he wasn't gonna give up on it, but he was done for now.

"So why did you exactly move down here?" He ask me testing me to see if I would budge. There wasn't nothing I hadn't done tried on my dad. Sigh, my dad.

"I done told you. My mom wanted a fresh start." I said and he gave me a look of not believing me. He let it go again though. He new I wasn't going to budge.

"I know there's more to it then all this. You won't tell me. Do you not trust me or something?" He ask me with what looked to be a sad face. Eli was sad? Wow strange day.

"I have a hard time trusting people. You have to be lucky that you got to come to my house. That's a sign that I trust you a little bit. Most guys don't get that far." I told him and that's when he realized it.

"Your afraid of commitment. I got ya now." He said and I just sat there shocked at how he guessed it so feaking fast. That was unusal. "And afraid of love and guys all together. Now I see where your coming from."

"How did you guess it so fast?" I ask him and he frowned a little before answering. We had done been eating and talking about other stuff when we got on this subject.

"Because I have the same problem. With you though, I feel like I can be myself. I'm gonna be honest. I think I'm falling for you and its scaring the crap outta me." He said and I sighed knowing that I felt the same way. I just didn't want to admit it. If he could, then I could too.

"I think I'm falling for you too Eli. Its scaring me too, cause I haven't felt this way in a very long time. I just don't know what to do anymore." I said and he came over and sat right beside me holding me and letting me lay in to him. I wasn't crying just depressed. I didn't know what to do.

"Well, we could fight this together. Its not that hard. We can do anything as long as we have each other." He told me with a smile. I smiled back at him. It was nice. He was a good all around guy.

"Yea, I know we could fight it, but the last time I tried this, like really really tired this, he left me in my time of need. I don't want that happening again." I told him and that's when it rang in his head.

"You were in love with K.C weren't you?" He ask me and I nodded my head. "You didn't have any boyfriends after that?" He ask me and I laughed. I did have other boyfriends just none of them worked out.

"That's also in my past, but yes I did have other boyfriends. No one I really liked though. Your different though. I'm just scared to give it another try." I said and he just smiled a little.

"I'm scared too but your the first girl I've really liked since um, my last girlfriend." He said stuttering like he was hiding a secret. I new he was but, since I was keeping stuff from him then he could from me too. "I'd really like to give this a try though."

"I tell you what, we can give it a try, but you just gotta promise me that you won't leave me for another girl." I told him and he just smiled at me.

"You won't have to worry about that happening. Trust me on this one." He said and I smiled at that answer. The scary thing is I did trust him. "Will you be my girlfriend?" He ask me like a normal guy would and I smiled.

"Of course I will." I said and gave him a hug wishing this moment would never go away. It was nice to feel loved like this. To have someone there for me at all times. "Come on I promised Bria some sprit since mom forgot it again."

"You two are to much a like for your own good." He said as we walked up to the counter. I laughed and smiled. We made it up there and I was about to pay for everything I had and he stopped me. "Don't worry about it. I got it." He told me and I sighed not really wanting to argue right now.

"So you guys have a good day at school?" Darcy ask me as I sat down with her for a minute. Peter and Eli were talking about something so it be a little bit. It was just me, Darcy, and Holly J talking. Come to find out she works here.

"Yea I did. Eli got worried cause I wouldn't eat lunch. Since when have I ate a lot anyway?" I said with a laugh while Darcy was laughing too.

"You better be lucky." Holly J said to me making me look up. "He doesn't talk to anybody much. The only ones he talks to are Adam and Fiona. He only talks to Fiona cause she's Adam's girlfriend. You got you a weird guy on your hands." She told me and I smiled a little. I really did.

"Enh, everyone has a little bit of weird in them anyway. Oh and Darcy I have a friend spending the night tonight." I told her and she gave me a questioning look. "I know, its hard to believe I'm finally inviting people over to the house."

"Its not Eli or Adam is it? Mom would have a cow if you had guys spend the night." She told me and I gave her a sheepish look. She sighed. "Mom doesn't know about either one of them, does she?"

"Well, if I told her about Eli, Adam, or any boy for that matter she would get mad at me cause its not the one she wants me hanging out with." I told her and she nodded her head.

"I know, but your gonna have to stand up to her sometime. That's what I did and now she's fine with guys coming over that's not him." Darcy said and did another sigh. "I know where your coming from though. Just give it time Clare Bear. It will get better."

"I hate it when you call me that." I told her and she laughed. "Besides unless cranky pants has done told her I'm in the good zone. I just gotta keep Madison quiet for a while." Just then Eli walked over and gave us all a smile.

"You ready to go Blue Eyes?" He ask me and I smiled. Holly J and Darcy just sat there awing. Just then Declan came over and Holly J gave him a mad look.

"Why don't you have a nickname for me like that? There not even going out and he has one for her." She told him with a mad look. Me and Eli only laughed. If only they new we were going out. They would be so different.

* * *

_Welp, here's the next chapter! =) Anyway, has anybody noticed the couples I have in here? I like having Declan with Holly J instead of her with Sav. I think Sav should be with Anya! =)_

_Did anyone see the newest episode of Degrassi? Oh my gosh Wesley has a girlfriend now! =)) I'm so happy for him cause its about time he got over Anya and got some happiness of his own! =) I just smiled all the way through that episode! _

_Poor Holly J may be really bad sick! I hope she get's out of it okay though! None of my friends really like how mean she is but she's my favorite one on the show besides Eli and Clare. =) I can't believe they would make her sick of all people! _

_Fiona comes back next episode! =)) My daddy, yes I know its weird to have a dad watch that show, loves her and can't wait til next Friday! =) My parents are pretty cool. They can't stand Alli and she's another one of my favorites on there too! Lol!_

_Tell me this please if your still reading. Who's hotter? Declan Conye or Eli Goldsworthy? Me and my friend fight over that all the time and I just gotta know! =) What are you waiting for? Review it please! =) They make my day happier! =)_

_Bye for now! =))_


	5. The Sleep Over

**Welcome To My Messed Up Life**

Chapter 5

_The Sleep Over_

* * *

Eli dropped me off about five minutes before five. I just sat in his car for a minute not really wanting to get out of the car and face my family. Darcy was still at the dot and Brianna was too clingy. Madison would still be all about her and mom wouldn't even know I was there unless there was something she needed done. If it wasn't for Fiona coming over I would just stay with Eli. Thank god I had all day with him tomorrow. I feel lonely when he isn't there.

"What you thinking about?" He ask me as he put the car in park. I sighed not really wanting to go into detail about everything, but I had gotten where I wanted to tell him everything. I just didn't know why.

"Nothing, just how much I don't really wanna go inside. The only reason I'm coming home is cause Fiona is suppose to be here. If it wasn't for her I would just stay with you all day." I said and he laughed a little.

"As much as I would love that, you have to go home. Your parents would worry about you." He said and my smile frowned when he said 'parents'. He noticed too. "I'm sorry I didn't know you didn't have one of them with you."

"Its okay. Its just why go home? Darcy is still at the dot, Madison is too all about her like mom has made her out to believe, Brianna is too clingy, and mom will only notice I'm there if there's something she wants done. Its times like these I wish I still had my Grandma to talk to." I told him with a sigh thinking about it. Then I got up the nerve to tell him part of my story. "If I tell you this will you promise not to tell anyone else at this school?"

"How about we just promise each other that we won't tell anybody at that school about each other's past." He said and I smiled. He new exactly what I wanted.

"Sounds good to me." I said and smiled at him. He did the same to me.

"Now, you were about to tell me a story?" He said and I smiled. I took his hand getting out of the car. He noticed what I was doing and got out of the car following me to the back yard.

"Last year, part of the reason we moved, my mom and dad had just had a big fight. It was real bad. It was over someone in the family. All the problems he had caused. My mom told him she wanted a divorce. He agreed saying they had just grown apart too much. I didn't know my dad enough considering he was always doing his job of a truck driver." I told him and he just sat there listening.

"So I was right about that?" He ask me and I nodded. "I'm sorry. I was just playing around with ya. I didn't mean to hurt you." He said and hugged me as we were sitting on the grass. I smiled.

"No worry's." I told him and he smiled at me. I carried on. "Well, it had been about three months since then and mom hadn't really been the same. I didn't know one could love a person that much. Well, we were in the middle of January with it being real snowy. My Grandma still worked even with how old she was. I had always looked up to her for that. With roads being real icy dad didn't want her driving home in it so he went to get her. We got a call a little bit later saying the car went out of control and they crashed into two different cars, both dying on impact." I said to him with a glazed look in my eyes. I wasn't going to let myself cry.

"I'm so sorry Clare. If I had known that I would have seriously left you alone." He said giving me a hug. I just sat there lying in his arms. It felt so freaking good and right.

"Its okay just the thing is she had this in her hands." I said showing him the necklace. It was in the shape of a heart. It had a butterfly on it and it said '_the right one is out there somewhere. Keep searching_.' On the back it had '_I love you my little tatorbug, love Grandma_.' "I didn't even get to tell them goodbye. It was like going back to memories with my Grandpa."

"I'm so sorry though. I'm glad she told you to keep searching. If she hadn't you might not have given me the chance of day." He said making me smile. He was too, then he frowned. "Why weren't you that upset with your dad?"

"That my friend is a whole other story. If I told you that one then I'd have to tell you my other secrets and I'm just not ready for that yet." I told him and he smiled. We sat there staring into each other eyes. Finally we leaned into each other lips touching. I smiled into it kissing him back.

"Clare your little friend is-" Me and Eli broke apart at hearing my mothers voice. I'm in trouble now. "I'll tell her you'll be a moment." She said but I stopped her.

"Mom it isn't what it looks like. I promise you." I said and she just gave me an angry look like you would to a little kid who did something bad.

"We'll talk about this later." She said and I sighed. I just wanted everyone to be happy. To make my mom and younger sister happy I would have to be unhappy. She walked back inside.

"Don't come over anymore unless I know for sure my mom won't be home." I told him in a sad face. I was finally happy and now would have to give it up. The first time in years and would now have to give it up. Not this time. It was time I put myself first.

"Okay. Just text me later and tell me what's going on." He told me and I smiled and nodded. Before he had a chance to leave I kissed him again. "Bye Clare talk to you later."

"Bye Eli." I told him. How bad I wanted to say 'I love you' but stopped myself from making a fool. I went inside and saw Fiona and Adam standing there with Brianna eying Fiona up down. "Fiona its good to see you again today." I said going up to hug her. Brianna gave me a look. "Bria." I said using my nickname only I could call her. "This is Fiona a friend of mine from school and also Adam's girlfriend." I told her watching Adam get a mad look knowing what was coming next. "Fiona this is my smallest sister Brianna. You can call her Bri, just don't ever call her Bria."

"So your the one who stole my boyfriend from me?" She ask her arms crossed and tapping her foot. I can't control myself and started laughing. "Sissy where did Eli go? Wasn't he just here?" She ask me looking around for him. She had gotten attached to him really bad.

"Sissy?" Adam ask trying not to laugh. I sent him daggers. He was still laughing a little but stopped a lot of when he saw my eyes. "Why do you let her call you that?"

"Because its my little sister and she caught me saying something I shouldn't one day, so I told her she could call me that if she didn't tell on me." I said all in one breath. Fiona was smiling at it and Adam was on the floor laughing his butt off. "Bria, mom sent him home cause Fiona was here."

"But, he promised me he would come and play with me." She said almost in tears. I sent her a small sad smile. The things he did to us Edwards girls. "Tell him I'm mad at him now."

"You can talk to him later." I told her and she smiled. "Now go play like a normal seven year old so we can all talk teenager things." I said and she sat on the couch. See what I mean she's clingy?

"Anyway, Clare, thanks for letting me stay the night. Holly J and Declan are doing another all nighter with movies and the last time I walked in to his room to get something he took it wasn't pretty." She said making me shiver at a picture that went through my head.

"Yea same thing I did when she told me. She could stay at my house, but mom has called a family night with us all and no one else can be there." Adam said and we all laughed. "I'll let you get to whatever it is you girls do at these things." He said giving Fiona a quick kiss on the lips. "Bye Fi, I love you."

"Love you too Adam." She told him and with that he left out the door and back to his house which, believe it or not, was on the same street I lived on. "So have you meet Eli's little sister yet? Has he even talked to you about her?" She ask me and I gave her a confusing look. I moved Brianna from her seat on the couch to in my lap letting Fiona sit beside me.

"He talked about her a little and said he would like me to meet her, but nothing set in stone yet." I told her and she gave me a shocking look. "Is that bad?"

"No that's good. I've only met her once and I wasn't even suppose to. He's real secretive with everything. After meeting her that one time she was real sweet. Shy at first, but real sweet after that." She said with a smile.

"He told me her name was Sandy. Well, Sandra, but she liked to be called Sandy." I said and she smiled at me. I guess that was more then she got told when she first herd about her. Just then Brianna jumped out of my lap.

"Wait did you just say Sandy?" She ask me and I nodded my head. "Is her last name Golworthy?" She ask us pronouncing it wrong. I had to laugh but just nodded my head anyway. "She's in my class! She's my bestest friend there. She helped me kick that girls ass."

"BRIANNA!" I said screaming her name at what she said while Fiona just sat there shocked and started laughing. I gave her a disapproving look.

"What?" She ask me with a cute little look. "And why are you laughing boyfriend stealer?" She ask Fiona and I started laughing while she just sat there awkwardly. Brianna was eying her down really badly. I had a drink in my hand then she ask me a question. "Sissy are you and Eli going out?" I spit out the drink staring at her. Fiona was laughing so hard it was even funny.

"What?" I ask looking at Brianna. Fiona finally stopped laughing enough to saying something.

"Yea Clare, are you two going out?" Fiona ask still laughing. She was laughing so bad that she was on the floor clutching her sides. I choose to ignore her.

"Now why would you think that?" I ask her after coming out of my shock and finally getting it clear in my head. She looked at the floor then at me.

"I saw you and him kissing outside in the yard." She said looking back up at me and I started blushing.

"You saw that now did you?" I ask her and she nodded her head.

"Yea then I saw you go back and kiss him before he left. You said kissing was gross and to not ever do it. Why did you break your rule?" She ask me and Fiona started laughing.

"So, I'm guessing you and Eli are an item now?" Fiona ask me and I just nodded my head. She started squealing. "We have to go on a double date."

"Shh, not so loud. I don't want my mom knowing just yet. Since she found us doing that she kinda already knows, but I'm gonna try make it look like we were practicing for a play." I told her with a sigh. She nodded. "Don't tell Eli I told you. I don't know if he wants anybody knowing." I said and once again she nodded her head. "Now Bria, this is a secret. You can't tell anybody you got it?" I ask her and she smiled and nodded.

"Only if you call him and let me talk to him." She said and I sighed taking out my phone and dialing the number I had memorized. She took it from me, but I had it on speaker.

"Hello? Clare, I just left why are you calling me all of a sudden? Missing me already?" He said smirking into the phone. I new him to well.

"Sorry Eli, but this sin't Sissy. It me, Brianna and I'm here with Fiona and Clare. Your on speaker and Sissy told me about y'alls little secret." Brianna said giggling. I heard Eli laugh a little.

"And what would that be?" He ask her with a little curiosity in his voice. I swear he made me crazy a little to much. "Hello? Bri Bir are you there?" He ask her and she stopped. She smiled.

"Nobody calls me that. Now only you can call me that." She said and I laughed. She liked it when people had different nicknames for her. "I saw you and Sissy kissing outside."

"You did, did you?" He ask her and she nodded even though he couldn't see her. "Well, tell your big sister that it really isn't a secret now. Adam knows. He's done called me up asking me questions."

"He has has he?" I ask finally coming into the conversation. He just laughed saying yea. I smiled. "Well then, I gues we can start telling people. Just don't tell my mom or Madison and Brianna you still keep it a secret." I told her and she smiled.

"Yes ma'am, now the real reason I called. Eli can you go put your little sister and my best friend on the line." She said not missing a beat. We laughed and I heard Eli sigh. I told Brianna to bring up the phone when she got done. With that me and Fiona walked up to my bedroom.

**Degrassi**

We were sitting in my room. Fiona was on my light green bean bag chair playing on the computer. I think she was on Face Range with Adam. I'm not sure. It was about 10 o'clock at night. Just then there was a knock on the door. Mom came in.

"Sweetie, I'm leaving you and Darcy in charge til I get back. I'm gonna go ahead and leave for the week." She said with a smile. I just smiled at her. She was always on business calls and stuff. "I'll be back next Friday. I trust you to be good and make sure there on best behavior. Remember, whatever Madison wants she gets. Make sure Brianna don't go anywhere." She said and left for the week. Finally peace and quiet. Everyone else was in bed but, me and Fiona. Darcy wasn't either since she was in her room on the phone with Peter.

"What was that about?" Fiona ask putting my lap top up on the dark blue desk. I just sighed and she gave me a look. "Are you always in charge of your siblings like that?" She ask me and I nodded my head. "You shouldn't have to do that. Your just a kid yourself."

"I know, but what am I suppose to say? I tried that one time and my mom just started yelling at me saying I was being mean and only thinking about myself. I finally stopped trying and just went along with it. Its one of the reasons Darcy is going to Kenya."

"Don't blame her there, but then that leaves you in charge of them all on your own. I feel sorry for you. They may as well just start calling you mom." She told me with a little laugh.

"Brianna has a time or two. She wasn't always like this. After everything with Madison she got tired of looking at her and Brianna being little just has to much energy so she's always in trouble. Its why mom can't stand Brianna. Then me and Darcy take her side a lot so she doesn't like us that much either." I said Fiona just gave me a look. "If anyone ask this conversation didn't ever happen. I wasn't suppose to tell anyone that."

"What conversation?" She ask me and I smiled at her grateful she understood. She smiled back then gave me a look. "So when do we get a double date?" She ask me and I laughed. We hadn't even gone on our first one yet.

"I haven't even got my first one yet. Let's not rush it just yet." I told her and then my lap top went off letting me know someone was asking for a video chat. It was Eli. "What do you want already Eli?" I ask him as his face popped up Fiona sitting right beside me.

"I have a little girl sitting in my room, when she should be asleep, wanting to chat with your sister about how they were sisters now or something. I don't know since I don't speak little girl." He said with a roll of his eyes I laughed.

"Well, sorry to say, but Brianna is asleep right now. I can't come over tomorrow like we planned either. I have to babysit." I said not exactly telling a lie, but not the truth either.

"Told you Sandra that she would be asleep." He told her and she rolled her eyes at him. She was a lot like him but had blonde hair and blue eyes.

"Eli I told you call me Sandy. I don't like that name." She said and with that she left his room to her own. I just laughed at it. Something me and my sisters would do.

"Anyway." He said sitting himself right in front of the camera. "How about I just bring Sandy over tomorrow and they can have a play date?" He ask and I nodded my head at the sound of that.

"Sounds good to me. Now if you will excuse us, were going to go back to our sleepover that you keep interrupting us on. Bye Eli." I said and he just waved at me saying yea yea while rolling his eyes. With that we clicked off the chat deal.

"That boy has it bad for you." Fiona said with a laugh. I laughed with her and before long they turned into giggles instead of laughs. Darcy walked pass and gave us a strange look.

"Is everything okay?" She ask us and we nodded. "So whatcha got planed for tomorrow?" She ask me with a smile. I hesitated at first but decided to go a head and say it.

"Well, I was suppose to go to my boyfriends house, but since mom left early he's going to come over with his little sister so her and Bria can have a play date." I told her and she sat there shocked when I said boyfriend.

"Good to know your finally giving the guys a chance." She told me with a big smile. "I'm guessing this boyfriend is Eli?" She said with a question and I just nodded. She looked at Fiona. "So what do you have planned tomorrow?"

"I was suppose to stay at Adam's tonight, but they had a family night so I'm going over there tomorrow and staying all day." She said with a smile.

"Since when do girls stay at the guys houses?" Darcy ask with a questioning look on her face. I just had to laugh at this. It was freaking funny.

"Well you see Holly J is staying at my house with Declan and last time that happen I walked in on something I really didn't wanna see. Besides, me, Adam, and Eli have sleepovers all the time." She said like it was nothing. All of a sudden Darcy went into over protective sister mood.

"You can't be doing that unless you tell me Clare. I don't like the idea of you sleeping at a guys house anyway." She told me and I just nodded my head while rolling my eyes. She walked out of the room with a good night. I looked over at Fiona.

"What do you wanna do now?"

"Hm, we could mess with Adam and call him saving him from his family night?" She said and I thought about not having anything else to do. I nodded and she called him.

"Hello?" He ask into the phone once he picked it up. "Thank god you saved me form them Fiona." He said with a sigh of relief. I laughed.

"Your welcome and we have some bad news." She told him and before he could say something she continued. "Clare won't be able to attend any of our sleep overs cause her older sister is being protective."

"That's too bad." Adam said and mumbled something sounding like 'Eli will be really disappointed.' "Now is that the only reason you called me?"

"No we just got bored." I said finally letting myself known. "Oh and your on speaker." I told him and he laughed.

"Why don't you call Eli and we all can talk?" Adam ask and I got my phone out dialing Eli's number. Fiona laughed at me not having to be ask twice.

"Clare now you got mad at me last time, so what do you want now?" He ask and I had to laugh at how he was being. He sounded tired and sleepy.

"We have Adam on speaker on Fiona's phone and he suggested we call you on mine. Oh by the way, your on speaker." I told him and he sighed as if he didn't already know that.

"So Eli, Clare, when did you guys exactly plan on telling me and Adam that you were a couple?" Fiona ask making me laugh a little. She already new we were but had to mess around somehow.

"When you two were the last two people on Earth." Eli said with sarcasm in his voice. I just acted being mad making him laugh. He couldn't see it but could hear it.

"We have to double date you guys sometime." Fiona said making me laugh at how excited she was being and the guys groan over the phone.

"Yea, yea can me and Clare get through the first date first?" Eli ask making me laugh even more than I already was.

"Told you Fiona. You just wouldn't listen." I said this time making Eli laugh over the phone. Adam finally spoke up after all the laughing.

"Well, I'm tired, so I'm going to bed. Love you Fiona have sweet dreams. Night Eli and Clare." He said and with that there was a deal of 'nights' from us three with a 'I love you too' from Fiona and then a click.

"Okay, so Adam is gone now what?" Fiona ask me as we were still talking to Eli. He laughed at how crazy we were. I looked over at the clock and saw that it was almost midnight now. If I didn't get to sleep now I would be cranky in the morning.

"Well, I'm gonna call it a night now. So I'm going to bed you two can talk if ya want but I'm outta here so night." I told them hearing Eli yawn over the phone and Fiona after that.

"Yea well I'm going back to the amazing dream I was having when you two got me up." Eli said and I laughed. "Night girls have good dreams. I know Clare's are gonna be about me since I'm so sexy." He said and I laughed.

"You wish Eli." I told him with another small laugh. "Night have fun going back to your dream about me." I told him and he sighed trying not to laugh. With that he hung up.

"You two are interesting to watch." Was the last thing I heard from Fiona when I fell asleep. Of course dreaming about Eli at that. Funny how he could predict that. Meanie head.

* * *

_Okay, so here's the next chapter! I've been getting some really good reviews on this so thanks guys! =) Its means a lot to me! I'm on chapter eleven of this story right now! I just got done with chapter ten! =) I have no clue how many chapters this story is gonna have! Who knows with me? ;)_

_Anyway, in this story I think I'm gonna make Adam an actual dude! Mostly cause I don't know enough about the things with transgenders and all that! Plus Adam makes an awesome dude and it would just be easier to focus on the Drama with Clare and Eli slowly finding out about it! If Adam was like that then I would want to spend a lot of time on him too when its an Clare and Eli story! =)_

_I didn't like the new episode of Degrassi to much last night! I mean really did they have to make Fiona go after Holly J like that? It was just weird to watch Fiona kiss her twin brothers ex girlfriend! Who agrees with me on that? Plus her and Adam looked cuter together and last time I checked Declan still had feelings for Holly J! _

_Degrassi writers are just screwed up in the brain! Poor Adam finally got himself a girlfriend who didn't care about his situation just to get her taken away from him? Doesn't add up! _

_Okay I'm ranting on by now! =) Welp, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and everything! Don't worry, you can predict the drama about to come since Fiona has figured out some of Clare's problems at home! That's not all going on with Clare either! ;) More drama is to come! Let me know what you thought of it in a review!_

_ Bye for now! =)_


	6. The Fight, and Weird Question

**Welcome To My Messed Up Life**

Chapter 6

_The Fight, and Weird Question_

* * *

It had been a week since the sleepover me and Fiona had had. Mom was suppose to be coming home today which had me scared for my life. Brianna and Sandy really did know each other and it scared me how much she was like her older brother. Eli had somehow gotten real close to Brianna. Now when ever either of them talked about guys he went in over protective brother mood. I thought it was cute and funny, but he didn't.

"Why is she making us do a freaking essay on nothing?" Eli ask me as we were working on our English assignments. I just laughed. He didn't really like being told what to write about but loved to write. I just rolled my eyes.

"Its not that hard. All you have to do is write about one person in your life. You don't have to say who on it." That made me happy since I didn't really have many people to write about. He was about to say something when someone walked in.

"Clare who died?" My mom ask walking in. I guess she had seen Eli's car outside. "Oh, your the boy I caught swapping spit with my daughter." She said once she finally saw Eli. "Hate to tell you boy but she already has a boyfriend." Mom said and Eli gave me a weird look.

"No she don't Eli. Don't listen to mom." Brianna said coming down stairs with Darcy following her. She gave me a look of sorrow. She finally got Brianna in her arms. "Put me down Darbie! I wanna talk with my brother and sister!" She said screaming and using the nickname she gave Darcy a little bit ago. "Eli help me! She's being a meanie head!"

"I'm so sorry Clare." Darcy told me and I just smiled. "I tried keeping her in my room so you and Eli could work on your English assignment when she got away saying 'I'm gonna go see my brother'."

"Come her little Bri Bri." Eli said holding his hands out with a sigh. He loved her like a little sister, but sometimes wanted to be away from little kids. "I swear sometimes your too clingy." He told her with a mumble. She looked over at me.

"Sissy what does Clingy mean?" She ask me and we had to laugh. She just shrugged her shoulders looking at the paper in Eli's hands. "The s-s-story of a gi-gi-girl." She said reading it with a little stutter. His eyes grew wide at her reading it and put it in his folder. "Why are you writing about a girl?" She ask with a giggle.

"Because it my assignment for school and you and Sandy are both real noisy." He said hitting her lightly on the nose making her giggle. Mom got a sigh of relief.

"Oh, so you have a girlfriend. Why are you cheating on her with my daughter? Clare why are you cheating on your boyfriend with him?" Mom ask and that's when I decided to get up the nerve to stand up to her.

"Sorry, Mrs. Edwards, but Sandy is my little sister. She's in Brianna's class which is kinda how me and Clare became friends." Eli said then mom started giving Brianna daggers.

"Oh so its your fault your sister is cheating on him?" She ask making Brianna scared a little. She clung on to Eli and he just rubbed her back letting her know everything was okay. "I new your were no good to this family."

"Brianna don't listen to her. She's just messing around with you." I told her as she laid her head on Eli's chest. I looked at Eli. "Can you take her outside to play? I'll be out in a minute." I told him and he nodded putting her on his back with a giggle from her. I smiled. "How can you blame Brianna for stuff I do?" I ask my mom with hateful eyes.

"Because if she hadn't brought over that little girl then you wouldn't of kissed that ugly boy." Mom said with vermin in her mouth. I just sent her daggers.

"Its not even them that got us together. It was my English class. He's a grade a head of me and we got paired together as English partners for the rest of the year." I told her and she sent me daggers as well. Darcy finally stepped in.

"Mom Eli isn't that bad. He get's along with everyone. Even little Madison is warming up to him. Nobody likes K.C anymore. He's going to be a father to some other girls baby." Darcy said her eyes getting darker. Madison hated Eli, but what mom didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

"I don't care your getting back together with K.C whether you like it or not." She said and that's when I lost it. I couldn't take it anymore. I was fixing to let it all out.

"No mom I'm not. Yes at one time I did like him. After all the hell we went through and he wasn't there for me. I won't tell Eli anything of my past and yet he's still here. He almost doesn't know anything. The only thing he knows about is the reason of us moving was because of Grandma and dad's death. You may not like him, but I'm truly happy with him. He's my everything right now. Get over only caring about yourself and Madison. You have three other kids too you know. Everyone but you and Madison is happy with me being happy. I'm done with you two. Have a nice life." I told her and walked off outside.

"Sissy what happen? I just herd yelling coming from inside. Is everybody okay?" Brianna ask me and I just smiled at her. If it wasn't for her and Darcy I may would've done killed myself by now.

"Yea everything is fine we just might want to get out of here for a while. You wanna go to the dot and see Peter and everyone else there?" I ask her and she started smiling. She had gotten close with Eli and Peter. I thought it was cute since Peter was Darcy's boyfriend and everything.

"Yea can we?" She ask me and I smiled. She looked over at Eli. "You wanna join us too?" She ask him and he just laughed a little. "Please Eli! Oh, please, please, please?" She ask begging him to no end.

"OK, fine come on. We can take my car or do you wanna walk?" He ask Brianna but looking at me more then he was her. I looked over at Brianna who was thinking real hard about the answer.

"Let's take the car. I love riding in it." She said jumping up and going to the car. I just laughed and walked to the car with Eli holding my hand. "Hurry up slow pokes." She told us causing Eli to roll his eyes and me to laugh.

"Were coming." I told her as we got to the car. I got in and Brianna scoot over in the middle. She was scared of the back for whatever reason so we let her sit in the middle.

When we finally got to the dot after not even five minutes of driving Brianna jumped up over my lap and was in the door of the dot within seconds. I just laughed as she went to our usual spot at the counter. We finally reached her and Peter already had her a sprite. I just rolled my eyes. Then he brought out two more sprites and put them on either side of Brianna.

"Where's your sister at today? She hasn't come over at all." He said and I had to give him a questioning look at this. Darcy was always over after school. Then I realized she had stayed at the house to keep Brianna out of our hair.

"Probably screaming at momma." I muttered and he just rolled his eyes. Darcy had done told him everything that had ever happen to us. He still manged to stay with her even after that. "She came home to keep Brianna out of our hair then me and Momma got in a screaming match."

"Got ya." He said then the door went off. I looked over to see Ali and Jenna enter through the door. Oh what a joy. "Usual sweet tea?" Peter ask the two as they nodded there heads. They sat beside me.

"So how's it going Clare?" Ali ask trying to make conversation. I just smiled at her while Brianna tugged on my shirt. "Babysitting your little sister I see." Ali said and I just laughed.

"Peter I need more to drink with-" Before she could even finish her sentence Holly J came over and took care of it for him. He gave her a grateful smile.

"French fries, right Little Bitty Edwards?" Holly J ask her and Brianna smiled nodding her head. Holly J went got her some more of her drink and brought it back. "Don't worry about it today guys. Peter said it was on the house." She told us and I smiled grateful.

"Thanks Holly J and Peter." I said while smiling at them. Then I turned to Ali. "Its going good Ali. Yea I'm stuck babysitting right now, but it doesn't bother me any. So how are you doing?"

"I'm doing good." She smiled at me. She was getting fed up with Jenna a little from what she had told me through texts. "You know what you should do that would be good for Jenna and K.C?" She ask me and just then Jenna looked up from hearing her name.

"And what would that be?" I ask her with curiosity getting the best of me. She looked at Jenna then me then to little Brianna I got what she was talking about.

"You should let her babysit Brianna or Madison so she can get a feel of what being a mother will be like. It be easier for her to have Brianna since she is closer to the age." Ali said with a smirk on her face that Jenna couldn't see. Jenna's eyes got big and a smile was put on her face.

"That's a great idea Ali. You should let us take her off your hands tomorrow. Give you some time with your friends and everything." She said and Eli just gave me a look of I wouldn't. I looked over at Brianna.

"How would you like to hang out with Jenna and K.C tomorrow?" I ask her and her eyes glanced around the room til they hit with Jenna's.

"Her?" She ask pointing at Jenna. I nodded my head. "The big fat fake blonde?" She ask me again and I was shocked at where she got that from. Eli started laughing while I sent him daggers.

"She's not fat Brianna. She has a baby in there." I told her ignoring the fake blonde part. She did an 'o' shape with her mouth. She gave me another look.

"Who was the dude that put the baby in there? Was it K.C? I'm glad you two don't go out anymore. I didn't like him much anyway." She said rambling on. Eli started laughing more. "I guess I could hang out with them tomorrow. Do I have to act like a real girly girl or what do I do?" She ask me and I looked over at Ali and Jenna. Before Jenna could say anything Ali beat her to it.

"Just be yourself. Don't act like anyone you aren't." Ali told her. Holly J and Peter who had been standing there the whole time were smiling. Brianna liked them so she was nice to them. She didn't like Ali that much so she new what she would be like to them. We all new she didn't like Jenna or K.C so this would be interesting.

"Okay will do, but were going to the park and I'm bringing my bike. Its spray painted black with red flames on it. Wait I can bring the one Eli got me or do I have to bring that other one that's purple?" She ask me and I sat there with a sad face.

"You've always liked that one I got you." I told her and Eli just smirked at me. I sent him another set of daggers.

"Looks like she has another favorite older sibling. Told you I'd get her away from you." He said and I just rolled my eyes. "Oh come on, you know you like me for it." He said still smirking.

"Yea yea Eli. Your just lucky I decided to give you a chance. There are other guys from my old school lining up to go out with me too." I said and he stopped. I smiled. "Now, Brianna, I guess you could take that one. If mom ask we-" She cut me off.

"Found it on the side of the road and decided to see if it still worked." She told me and I gave her a high five. "I don't know why she don't want her girls liking the color black. Pink and purple are just to girly." She said with a shake.

"We'll see you tomorrow at the park at one." Jenna said with a smile and her and Ali left. Once they were gone me and Eli started laughing.

"This is gonna be fun." I said and Holly J gave me a look.

"Why is that?"

"Because Brianna's done told me she doesn't like either of them. She will be a handful for them." I said and Holly J just rolled her eyes. Just then the door opened and Darcy walked in talking with Declan.

"Declan!" Brianna screamed running up to him and hugging him. She had made friends with everybody from the time we started living here. She loved everybody, for the most part, and they loved her right back. "Are you here to see Holly J?" She ask with a little giggle. He just laughed with her.

"Yes I'm here to see Holly J." He told her and she grabbed his hand taking him to Holly J. He smiled at her and gave her a kiss. "Hows it been going today?" He ask her.

"Doing good. Just another hour then I'm off the clock." She told him and he smiled at her. Eli came over to me and sat beside me in Brianna's seat. "Hey you have a problem there Eli." Holly J told him and he gave her a confused look. We turned around to see Brianna had that foot taping with her arms crossed.

"No we don't Holly J. Come here Bri Bri, you can sit in my lap." He told her and she just gave him a mad look.

"No!" She told him. He gave her a look.

"No?"

"Yea, no, I want to get on your neck." She said and he sighed, got up and put her on his neck. "Sissy?" She ask me looking down at me almost in tears. "I miss daddy. He would do all this kinda stuff with me. Where did he go again?" She ask me and I sighed telling her.

"He went to see Grandpa and Jay. Grandma did too." I told her and she sighed. Dad use to do all that kinda stuff with her.

"Will Momma ever get married so I can have another dad?" She ask me and that caught me by surprise. I looked around at everyone for help.

"You only get one dad." I told her and she started crying. Eli took her off his shoulders and let her cry in his chest. "I didn't mean to make you cry. You'll see daddy again someday. Just not right now. He wants you to be happy right now." I told her and she sighed and stop crying.

"I just miss him. Why did he get taken away from us? Its not fair, you said so yourself." She told me and Eli gave me a look. When it came to my dad I acted like I didn't care.

"I know its not, but everything happens for a reason." I told her and she went back to smiling. She looked over at Declan then at Eli. They gave each other weird looks.

"Do you two wanna play a game?" And with that ask my little sister was back. I smiled at how she was with everybody. I had done decided I wanted to see how it went with her, Jenna, and K.C.

To bad Eli talked me in to not going. Even though he wanted to see how it went too.

* * *

_Oh how will Brianna act with Jenna and K.C? Hmm, I don't know, oh wait, yea I do cause its already written. All you have to do to read it is let me get at least 5 reviews! =) Please? It would make my day! I'm already on like chapter eleven of this thing! =)_

_Anyway, so who else can't wait for the new episode of Degrassi tomorrow? I know I can't and I'm already sweating with sweat wanting to see it lol! I hope they don't break up, or if they do they at least get back together sometime!_

_I'm already mad cause they broke up Declan and Holly J to have her go out with Sav who should be going out with Anya! On top of that they have Fiona going after Holly J instead of Adam? How screwed up are these writers? I got over them breaking up Alli and Johnny and then her and Drew! Drew and Bianca kinda grew up on me but really Eli and Clare?_

_Okay I'm rambling again! I'm sorry! =( Had to get it off my chest since my parents get tired of hearing about it! =) Welp, tell me what you think about it! Why exactly does she act like this with her dad? The viewers may never know lol! =)_

_Bye for now! =)_


	7. Brianna has fun with KC and Jenna

**Welcome To My Messed Up Life**

Chapter 7

_Brianna has fun with K.C and Jenna_

* * *

"So what do you like to do for fun?" Jenna ask the cute little girl in front of her. Brianna stayed there staring at K.C then at Jenna. She new exactly what happen between him and her sister. Her sister told her everything.

"Why did you cheat on my sister with, that, that, that skank?" Brianna ask making K.C laugh a little to where Jenna couldn't hear. Jenna sat there shocked at what she heard.

"Who taught you that word?" She ask Brianna and she started laughing. K.C stood there hoping she wouldn't say anything. Usually when you ask for something to happen with Brianna, you get the exact opposite.

"K.C taught it to me." Brianna told her and Jenna started death glaring her. "But sh, Sissy isn't suppose to know. K.C said if I ever said it in front of her to tell her my bro- I mean my cousin taught it to me." She said knowing Clare had told her not to say anything about having a brother. They didn't claim him for a reason.

"Really now?" Jeanna ask looking at the little girl in front of her with a raised eyebrow. She could really get some dirt from her about Clare. "So tell me about your sister." She said and K.C saw what she was doing but to her dismay, so did Brianna.

"So, Miss Skank, tell me about you." Brianna said with a smirk she had got from Eli. She spent so much time with him that you just thought they were brother and sister.

"Well, for one, I'm not a skank, and I'm a singer. I've been on TV and all that good stuff." She told her with a smile. "I can sing you a song if you want."

"No I only let my sister sing to me. She's not a skank, but you are. Besides, I'm sure you sound terrible." She told her still smirking. That's when K.C new she had been around Eli to long.

"Tell your sister, she shouldn't be letting you hang out with Eli so much. He's been a bad influence on you and all." K.C told her making her mad. How dare he call her brother that.

"First of all, you need to leave my family out of this. Clare's right your just a plan ass hole. Besides, I hang out with Eli cause he's always with either Sissy, or his little sister Sandy." She told him and you could see the red in her eyes.

"You have an attitude problem little girl." Jenna told her and Brianna went to kick her when she remembered she had a baby meaning she had to be careful. Instead she went and kicked K.C.

"Ow, what was that for?" He ask her and she was getting even more angry at the moment.

"Because I couldn't kick your skank of a girlfriend since she has a baby and that's for making my sister cry all those nights after you cheated on her. After that little thing happening she can't trust any other boy. Good going K.C. The one strong person I ever new and she brook just like that. I'm glad she's with Eli. He may be dark and a little scary looking, but he's more of a gentle man then you'll ever be. Oh, and Jenna, your the one with the attitude problem. Not me." With that she ran. As fast as she could. She just ran. She didn't know where she was going, but she kept going.

K.C and Jenna looked everywhere they could for the little girl. She was nowhere to be found. She just vanished out of nowhere. She had done hide herself somewhere. Nobody could find her. They weren't going to give up just yet though.

"We haven't had her a full hour yet and we've already lost her. What are we gonna do when we have the actual baby? We're gonna be bad parents K.C." Jenna said going into hysterical mood.

"We'll find her Jenna. Don't worry so much. I know this little girl pretty well. We would all hang out when I was with Clare. No worry's." He told her and she gave him her Jenna look.

"Oh really, then if you know her so well, where is she K.C?" Jenna ask trying not to laugh at how he was being. He just gave her his look of oh crap I'm freaking stupid.

"Fine your right." He said and they sat there trying to figure out what to do. Just then he got up. "I don't know about you, but I'm gonna go looking for her." He said and they searched for a good ten minutes til they got to the swings and saw her swinging. "Why did you run over here?" He ask sitting in a swing beside her.

"Cause its where I can get a lot of my thinking done." Brianna said to him just sitting there. "I just don't see how you could sit there and cheat on my sister. She just needed you in her time of need. Why couldn't you be there for her?" She ask with tears in her eyes still.

"I don't know. It just felt right with Jenna and I couldn't help myself. With the not being there, I just thought she was getting clingy. I didn't think of her actually needing me. I didn't think of everything she was going through." K.C said looking in to the eyes of Brianna. "I'm sorry Bri."

"Don't call me that. Only the people I want in my life can call me that." She spat at him and he just looked down. "I just don't need you in my life. Neither does Clare. She told me what you tried doing that day. It isn't right. She has Eli now, so just leave her alone." Brianna said just as Jenna started to speak.

"What happen in her past that was so bad anyway? Nobody can have a past that bad." Jenna said looking down at Brianna with disgust. "I think yall are just trying to get attention." Brianna started laughing a little.

"Wow, you are that insecure." Brianna said making Jenna's mouth fall open that she new that word. "We would NEVER joke about our past. If she wanted you to know, then she would tell you, Miss Skank." She told her then turned to K.C. "You cheated on her with this? I think your insecure too." She said and went for her bike.

"Did we just get told off by a seven year old?" Jenna ask still not believing it. K.C had his mouth open as well. She just gave him a look of shocked.

"I think we did. Not just any seven year old. Clare's little seven year old sister at that." He told her still not believing it. "She has Clare for an older sister. Of course she'll be smart." He said and Jenna just stood there not knowing what to do.

"Were not ever having sex EVER again for a while just to let you know after the baby's born. I'm not taking the chance of the baby being like that." Jenna said that still staring at Brianna watching her ride her bike.

"Agreed." K.C muttered. He didn't need his daughter or son back talking him like Brianna had been doing. They would be getting a lot of spakens. You know they aren't ready to become parents. Brianna just looked back and waved sweetly at them on her black and red bike.

**Degrassi**

"So did you have fun with Jenna and K.C?" I ask Brianna once we finally got her. She just smiled that smile of her's and nodded her head. "Do I even wanna know what you did?" I ask her and she shook her head. "Okay, so do you wanna go to the dot with me and Eli's gonna bring Sandy with him?" I ask her and she nodded her head egarly.

"Yea come on let's go. I'm hungry any way. They forgot to pack the food." Brianna told me and I laughed. After what Brianna put them through I'm pretty sure they won't want to have any kids after this one. I just smiled at her while she rode her bike to the dot.

We finally arrived at the dot and walked in. Everyone was here today, it seemed like. Declan, Anya, and Darcy were waiting on Holly J, Sav, and Peter. Sav started working here not long ago to help out Peter. Eli was up there talking with them while Sandy was just sitting there looking around. Another little girl was there. It was Madison? What was she doing here?

Eli saw me and walked over giving me a hug. I just smiled at him when Sandy saw us she smiled.

"Brianna! Clare! Your here finally!" She said running up to give us both hugs. Declan's eyes got big all of a sudden.

"Wait, Eli your sister knows how to talk? When did this happen?" Declan ask making him laugh. He had a dead serious face on him. "Dude I'm being serious. Fiona said she doesn't ever talk."

"Yes dude she does know how to talk. She doesn't after what happen to someone in the family." He said. I still didn't know of his past so I just let it slide.

"Oh, sorry to hear that." Declan said with a sad smile. He just gave him a nod. "So, what is everyone doing this fine, fine, fine day?" He ask being dramatic. I just laughed along with everyone.

"Well, I'm up for anything this wee-" I was interrupted by Madison. I just gave her an evil look.

"You can't do anything and neither can Darcy. You two have to babysit me and ugly but over there." She said pointing to Brianna. Brianna looked over hearing Madison's voice.

"Hey!" She said while Madison just rolled her eyes. "I can hear you ya know. Oh, wait I forget you have trouble comprehending stuff. Sorry, I'll be careful next time." Brianna said high-fiving Sandy. I wanted so bad to laugh but started being the mother I had to be.

"Brianna that wasn't nice. If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. Now, go sit on that stool and don't say anything until I tell you to get up." I said in a stern voice and of course she listened without complaining.

"Haha, its what you get you little ugly butt." Madison said with a smirk on her face. I gave her a look.

"Madison, you go sit on the other one til I tell you to get up." I said and she just sat there not getting up. "I said go over there and sit down. If I have to babysit you your gonna do what I say."

"Momma said I could do no wrong and that I don't have to listen to you." She told me with that smirk again. I wanted to strangle her right then, but Eli held me back. "Oh and mom said that you and Eli had to break up. I want you back with K.C and mom said that you had to since I wanted it."

"I'm not getting back with him and you will go over there or I'll beat your ass in front of everyone. You have a choice." I said and she just sat there shocked. "I'm not playing with you today Madison. Now, what will it be?" I ask her and with that she got up and went and sat where I told her. "That's what I thought."

"How in the world do you get both of them to listen to you like that? I can't get them to do that with me." Darcy said standing there shocked at what I just did.

"I don't know, I just do it. Now, Eli, did you ever get that paper done?" I ask with a lift of the eyebrow. He just put his head down. I laughed. "Come on Eli its due Monday. I would come over and help but I've got to babysit these two. I'm sorry." I told him and he smiled a little.

"Its okay Clare. Maybe another English assignment or something." He said with his magical smirk. I just nodded my head and he laughed. "So what is everyone up to today?" He ask asking the question Declan had earlier.

"Well," Anya said letting herself known, "Sav, Holly J, Declan, and I were gonna go on a double date night tonight. I would ask if you guys wanted to join, but I see your kinda busy." She said with a shy smile. Just then Adam and Fiona walked in.

"A.T! Boyfriend Stealer! You gotta help me. I'm in trouble for being mean to Madison even though she started it." Brianna said while sticking her tongue out at Madison. I just sighed and rolled my eyes as both of them got into a fight.

"Both of you will you please shut up? Just five minutes of peace and quiet. I swear, mom knows I hate watching both of you at one time. Why does she do this to me?" I ask taking in a big breath and settling down.

"You know how mom is. She's been that way since the accident." Darcy said and I know what she was talking about. Everything started spinning around me for a minute.

"Besides mom said she just can't wait til you and Darcy get out of the house. Then she's gonna leave me in charge of Brianna." Madison said rubbing her hands together in an evil way.

"Ah hell no. I wouldn't trust you with her. I barley trust myself with you little kids." I said and she gave me a funny look. "What?" I ask and her funny look went away. "Adam I swear to god if you get her out of trouble I will personally hurt you. She can't always get her her way. She has to learn sometime."

"Sorry Little B your sister said I couldn't this time." Adam said and went over to the rest of us. Sandy came over and tugged on my shirt. I looked down at her.

"Why are you being mean to your sister? Don't you love her?" She ask me and I sat there a little shocked. I looked over at Eli for help. He sighed and gave in.

"Sandy she does things differently then I do when she babysits. Its just the way we were raised. Everyone does there own thing." Eli told her and I smiled at the way he handled it.

"Okay Eli. Whatever you wanna believe. She still isn't doing it right." Sandy muttered and I laughed a little. I looked at my watch and saw it had been a good five minutes.

"Okay, now, you two can get out of your little time out and go play somewhere in the dot." I said and they got up and walked around. Brianna went over to Sandy and Madison just kinda walked around. Just then some little girl walked in about her age.

"Holly J why did you take my basketball again?" The little girl ask coming to where Holly J was. I tried so hard not to laugh at this, but it was just so freaking funny.

"Not now Olivia. I'm at work and you know not to bother me when I am." She said and that's when I noticed how much they look a like. "Guys this is my sister Olivia. Olivia this is Eli, Clare, Darcy, and Adam." Holly J said telling her the people she didn't know I guessed.

"Yea yea sis, but look you shouldn't be taking my stuff without asking. Why did you need it anyway?" She ask Holly J and I had to laugh at how little sisters can be. Just then she saw Madison. "Hey Maddi how are you doing today? Your sister still getting on your last nerve with her boyfriend?" She ask her and Maddi kinda looked nervous.

"Um yea, I guess." Madison said with a little smile on her face. Not much of one, but a little one. I just rolled my eyes and went back to my conversation with Eli.

"You need to get away from your family and you know I'm right." He said and I just rolled my eyes at him. I didn't need to do anything I didn't wanna do.

"No, I don't. My family is just fine. They need my help. Right Fiona?" I ask since she had been at my house that one night. She just kinda sat there uncomfortable.

"I think Eli is right on this one Clare. You need to relax from it all. Maybe go meet his parents or something." Fiona said not trying to give my living arrangements away.

"I'm not going right now. Everything is fine in my life. This is why I don't tell people stuff. They just get in your business and act like they know what's best for me." I said and with that I stormed out of the dot. I didn't need people telling me how to live my life. It was my life for a reason.

Aren't I right?

* * *

_I know this is sad, but when I watched the new episode of Degrassi the only thing going through my head when Eli got in the crashed is 'How can you do that to Morty?' Lol, but I'm being serious. My parents thought I was going crazy! =) Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not!_

_Anyway, how does everyone like how Brianna's character is coming along? Yea that's something my little sister would do exactly! She's like me in someways, she'll let you know how she feels about something in a heartbeat! =) Gotta love little one's._

_I know right now you probably hate Madison since she's always trying to break them up, but later on in the story she kinda comes around! She had her reasons to not really like them together! =) Maybe you can guess the reason? Its to obvious that nobody would be able to guess it! Try if you want! ;)_

_Now since it is Easter I thought I would be nice and give you this! Oh and in like either the next one or one after that it time jumps a lot! =) I don't know why I did that but I did! =) Anyway, I hope you like this chapter! =P Let me know in a review! Maybe give me idea's for one-shots or something!_

_Bye for now!_


	8. Love messed it all up

**Welcome To My Messed Up Life**

Chapter 8

_Love messed it all up_

* * *

Love.

Its a funny thing. You don't know what it feels like, but when you do you can't get enough of it. Its just that simple right? Yea right sure it is. Its not though.

Its not for me. I wish it was that easy for me. I wish I had it like all these people everywhere else have it. Where everything comes to me and I don't have to work for anything. It would be real easy.

Who wants easy though? I would rather know I earned every penny I got then to just have it handed to me. What's the point in living and learning when its handed to you? Not my style.

"Clare? Hello? We have to get to English like now or were gonna be late." Eli said getting me out of my thoughts. It was now Monday and we had English next. My favorite class at that.

"Yea come on I'm coming." I said moving up to him as he put his arm around me. I smiled wishing this part of us would never end. I new before long this would all end for me. It always does. I don't think I'll ever get my happy ever after.

"Okay, so do we have to read this out loud in class?" He ask me and I had to laugh. He hardly ever listened in class. It didn't surprise me any.

"Yes we do. Are you still on for my house after class?" I ask him and he smiled at me. I took that as a yes. I smiled at this. I had to smile.

"Yea, I'm still on unless anything comes up or something." He said and I just had to smile. He was to nice to me sometimes. Just then the bell rang and class started.

We were all tuned out til she said something about the assignments being read now. She called a few people up and I just tuned her out yet again. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. I stopped when I heard her call Eli's name. I listened since he wouldn't let me read it the moment he wrote it. He just finished it right before this class.

"This is called 'The Story of a Girl'." He said while I listened to him read on about his story. I knew he had wrote about me after a couple of lines and I smiled just listening.

_You see her sitting there. A frown on her face. She sees you staring so she starts to smile. You ask her if something is wrong but she tells you she's fine. You don't believe her, but know no one can get answers from her._

_She just acts like everything is fine and nothing could go wrong. On the outside she has all smiles. On the inside she's at her breaking point. She doesn't know what to do. She has trouble trusting so she can't go anywhere. She's stuck inside her own little world. With no way out._

_Running from her past. She has tired so hard. Every time she gets far enough it taps her on the shoulder. No matter where she goes it seems to follow. She trys so hard, yet it just stares her in the face. She keeps running and never looking back, yet it just doesn't work._

_She doesn't talk to anybody scared of getting too close. She knows getting to close means reliving her past. She won't talk to keep everyone away. She can't get hurt knowing getting to close means losing everything later on. She's just saving herself from hurt later on._

_Her heart is guarded for dear life not letting anyone in. She just takes care of her family distracting herself from the world. She get's home and read stories with the happy ending she knows, or thinks, she'll never get. She would rather stay in the world of peoples happy lives then deal with her own sucky reality. Its not sucky though cause, its made her strong. Which is all that matters._

_You may see her as quiet, maybe even shy. She's none of these things if you took the chance to know her. She has the brightest smile you'll ever see. She won't ever cry in front of you. Her baby blue eyes hold back so much. There's more to her then she'll ever show you. You would see all this if only you took your time to get to know her like I have. Cause, in my opinion, you'll never meet anyone else like her. Don't judge a book by its cover. You may miss out on someone wonderful._

"That was lovely Eli." Mrs. Dawes said once Eli was done. Just then the bell rang. "We'll do the rest of yours some other time. Maybe tomorrow or the next day. Who knows with me. No homework tonight." She said as we all went to lunch. We walked into the lunch room and did are usual stuff before sitting down and eating.

"Guess who's got a date with Alli?" Adam ask me as I sat down at the table. I gave Eli a look and he gave me one back before we both shrugged our shoulders. We didn't really care.

"Umm, a space alien?" I ask in more of a question and Fiona started laughing at me. After a few seconds we all started laughing in on what I had said. "I'm sorry Adam but who?" I ask still laughing a little.

"My step brother Drew." He said and my eyes went big. Alli has liked him since I got here. That was a while back. We were now in October. My smile grew wide. "He's liked her since the beginning of school. He finally got the balls to ask her out. Now I don't have to hear about him whining how much he'd love to go out with her."

"Alli has liked him that long too." I said and we all started laughing a little. Just then Jenna and K.C came up to us and sat down with us. "Can I help you find your way back to your table?" I ask them. "What do you want anyway?" I ask stealing a grape from Eli's trey. I started forgetting to get them on purpose.

"You need to have a talk with your sister about her calling me a skank." Jenna said and I started laughing. So that was the nickname she picked out for her. "You shouldn't be laughing. If she keeps doing that I'd hate to see what kind of mom you'll be when you grow up." She said making me mad. Fiona sat there shocked too. She was the only one who new about my home life being there and everything.

"Um, Jenna you might want to look down at yourself for a while. At least I'm not pregnant at 15. Your gonna talk about me going to be a bad mother. To be honest as of right now I really don't care about that part of my future just yet." I told her and then smirked. "Oh and K.C was the one who taught her about blonde girls being skanks. And your screwed cause everytime she sees you that's gonna be your new nickname from her."

"K.C how dare you teach a little kid something like that. I don't think your ready to be a father if your teaching little kids that kinda stuff." And with that Jenna was storming off. K.C gave me a death glare.

"You just had to say that. Thanks you've got her mad at me now." K.C said and I smiled at him.

"Your welcome K.C now have a nice day." I said with a huge smile on my face. Today couldn't get any better. Or worse.

"Whatever." He muttered then walked off to, I guessed, find Jenna. Once he was gone we all started laughing. We just couldn't help it. Then I smacked Eli.

"Ow what was that for?" He ask me and I just gave him a glare.

"Your the one who said she was a skank for having a baby this early in her age. Brianna was there the day you said that with Jenna's name in that sentence. Its the entire reason she did that to her. You didn't like her so she doesn't either." I told him and his mouth formed an 'o' shape.

"So did he really teach her that when you two were together?" Fiona ask me trying to change the subject. I just smiled while laughing and nodding my head. "Why does that not surprise me any." She said and we both laughed.

"Are we still on for our double date this Saturday?" I ask Fiona while the boys groaned. We laughed but she just nodded her head to me. I smiled. "Great I can get my mind off things." I said and she gave me a weak smile knowing what I was talking about.

"Clare is there anyway you and Eli can pick up the little two from school today? I gotta go home and pack." Darcy told me and I gave her a confused look.

"Yea we can but why do you have to pack?" I ask her and she gave me a small smile.

"They need me in Kenya like now. I'm leaving today or tomorrow. I'm sorry but do you think you can manage the house and those two without me?" She ask and I put on a fake smile and nodded my head. "Thanks. Love you Clare Bear." She said and I smiled.

"Love you too Darce. Just be careful up there in Kenya." I told her and she nodded. With that she walked off. I slumped in my seat. "I'm not hungry anymore." I said and didn't even wanna eat at all.

"Come on cheer up." Eli said and with that I walked out of the lunch room. I didn't need all this. Why did God hate me so freaking much right now? "Hey are you okay?" Eli ask me as I sat on the steps of the school.

"No. I can't do this anymore Eli. I'm losing everyone in my family. I've done lost mom and Madison. I just lost Darcy and before you know it I'll lose Bria. I'm losing everyone I love. I can't take it anymore. For right now I just need my space Eli. I hope you can understand." I said and his eyes got big like they were gonna cry. This was breaking my heart.

"A-a-are y-y-you break-k-k-king up with me?" He ask me with a little stutter. I just put my head down so he couldn't see me crying. I didn't want to see his face.

"For right now I am. My relationships don't ever last anyway. Before I know it you'll be like all the other guys I date anyway. Goodbye for now Eli." I said and with that went and got Madison and Brianna up early from school. We could walk home for right now anyway.

**Degrassi**

_"Why did you do that?" I heard a voice ask me. We were in a dark black room. It was again me, Grandma, Grandpa, and Dad in the room. My Dad was talking. "I told you I liked him and you just go and break up with him? He was the one you need to open up too. I hate seeing my baby girl upset like this." He said and I started crying._

_"Daddy I was getting to close to him. Tell him Grandpa. You've always been on my side." I said yelling and had tears in my eyes coming down my face._

_"I can't help you with this one Tator Bug. Your on your own. We all told you he was going to do some good for you. It been two weeks. You've done nothing but mope around. Get back with him." Grandpa said making me want to cry. No not here. Not with them._

_"There right Clare." It was my grandmother now. "Listen to yourself. You can't live by yourself all your life. Your gonna have to open up to someone before you break." She told me and that's when I lost it. I started crying._

_"Fix it before its to late." Dad said and I gave him a confused look. "He's done nothing wrong to you but try and understand. You know how things go with your life. Don't shut him out when you need him most."_

_"But I don't need him. I don't need anyone. I was doing fine on my own and can do fine on my own. I don't need help with anything or anyone's self pity." I said with a mad look in my eyes. They gave me a sigh._

_"You need someone to talk to." Grandma said with a little sad look._

_"Listen to your Grandmother." Grandpa told me. "She's knows what she's talking about. Just follow your heart. Get back with him. Its what its telling you." He told me. "Its driving everyone nuts. Even Brianna has been effected by it." And with that they were gone again._

I woke up in sweats again. I can't take this dreams I've been having for the past two weeks. It not good. I looked at my clock and saw that it was eight in the morning. I needed to give medicine to kids then I could go back to bed. Darcy had done left and Mom still wasn't back.

I sighed.

Life was easier back then. Back before anything bad could happen to me that I new of.

I walked into Brianna room after giving medicine. She was up and crying. I sighed yet again. She had been doing this for over two weeks now.

"What's wrong Bria?" I ask her and she gave me an evil glare.

"You broke up with Eli and now I'm mad at you. Why do that to the one person who's ever been nice to you like that?" She ask me and I sighed. She was right.

"Your right okay? I screwed up big time but he would never want me now. Nobody ever wants me." I said with a huge sigh and her eyes softened a little bit.

"That's not true. You just get scared and start shuting people out before they even have a chance. Give him a chance. Share your past with him little by little. Okay?" She ask me and I smiled loving the talks I have with this seven, almost eight in two weeks, year old I called my sister.

"Yes ma'am. Thank you Bria. Your the best." I told her with a huge smile on my face. I was gonna take her advice and do as she told me.

"Your welcome and hey its what I'm here for." She told me and I laughed loving the sister moments we shared a lot. It was nice knowing I had someone to count on.

I sighed took out my phone and sent him a text message. I just hoped he would agree and meet me at the Dot later on today like I had ask him in the text.

It was worth the shot of asking.

* * *

_Okay so what did you think of this one? Its not my best one! I hope its okay! =( I'm too tired to go and look back over it so if there are any mistakes I am so sorry! Just ignore it best you can!_

_Guys my life has been weird! I've, in the last week, got a boyfriend and broke up with him yesterday just to have him go and get another girl today! I think he may have been cheating on me but I'm not gonna swear up and down to it! It wouldn't surprise me none!_

_Parents think I'm just scared! Last time I had a clingy boyfriend, like he was, he said he loved me in the first two weeks and I ran for the hills! I don't want to be in love but love reading and writing about it! You know the stuff we wish would happen but know will never happen?_

_Yea, that kinda stuff! Hope you like this chapter and tell me what you think! I got like four or five reviews last time which made me smile! Don't worry they won't be broken up much longer! They either get back together next chapter or the one after that! So don't hate me to much! There will be drama coming up though!_

_Bye for now! =)_

_P.S. Katy Perry songs rock! ;)_


	9. Meeting parents with stories

**Welcome To My Messed Up Life**

Chapter 9

_Meeting parents with stories_

* * *

I walked into the Dot with Madison on my right and Brianna on my left. We went and sat at a table with four chairs so if Eli actually did come he would have a place to sit. I just looked around til I heard Holly J's voice.

"Where have you been these last two weeks?" She ask me and I just looked down at the table. She got the hint I didn't want to talk about it and left it at that. "I get it so what will you be having today?" She ask and Brianna was the first to speak.

"I'll have my usual." She said showing her perfect smile with teeth showing and everything. I just laughed at how innocent she was being. I just smiled.

"I'll have the kids menu with a sweet tea to drink." Madison said bitterly. I just gave her a stare and she added on to her sentence before she got in trouble. "Please?" Holly J just nodded.

"Usual for me too and another sprite please." I said and she nodded. Eli said he would meet me here but I didn't know if he was telling the truth or not. Holly J left to get the drinks.

"He's not gonna show up Clare." Madison said yet again bitterly. I just glared at her. "He never cared for you anyway. Me and mom were right you just don't want to admit it."

"No you weren't right." A new voice said coming from behind me making me jump. He chuckled. "I love how I can do that to you. Its funny how jumpy you get."

"I'm glad you find my scaredness funny Goldsworthy." I said my mouth full of sarcasm. He just laughed and sat down beside Brianna in front of me. Her face lit up.

"Eli your here. Does that mean you and Sissy back together yet?" She ask in a cute voice with those innocent eyes of hers. She was to cute for her own good sometimes. "Well does it?" She ask him again while he just looked at me.

"I want to talk to you about that but not with them in the conversation. I'm so sorry I had to bring them. I couldn't find anyone to take them while we talked." I said going on and on while he just smiled. He got up and kissed me on the lips. I liked being shut up like that. "I think I'll just ramble more from now on." I said mumbling but he still heard.

"Mom told you that you had to break up with him." Madison said getting angry. "Not break up with him for two weeks just to get back together with him."

"Madison just shut up please. I'm not in the mood for this today. I have a headache the size of Texas and don't feel good. You getting mad and yelling doesn't help it none. If you don't shut up your gonna go to bed at nine." I said and she slumped down in her seat.

"Thank god Mom's gonna be home tonight." Madison said and I sighed with relief. "You don't have to watch us all weekend. She's gonna be home all week. One week vacation." Madison said and again I sighed with relief again.

"Thank God." I muttered to myself but Eli heard and he chuckled. "Eli I went ahead and ordered you something." I told him and he nodded with a smirk on his face.

"I've got your drinks right here." Holly J said giving everybody what they ordered. "Eli I haven't seen you here in a while. You and Clare getting some alone time or something?" She questioned and I almost spit out my drink making Eli laugh.

"No other stuff going on. I just haven't felt good in a while." He told her looking me in the eyes making me dart mine somewhere else that wasn't his eyes. "Nothing big."

"Oh okay. I just found it funny you both not being here in a little over two wee- you guys didn't break up did you?" She ask us and I lowered my head down. "You did." She mumbled then started yelling at Peter. "I was right Peter. Something was going on between them. You owe me twenty bucks." My mouth fell open while Eli started laughing.

"Eli does that invitation for me to have dinner at your house tonight still stand?" I ask him and he smiled at me the biggest I'd ever seen on his face.

"Of course Blue Eyes. Why wouldn't it?" He ask me and it was my turn to smile. He looked me right in the eyes and we started talking through eyes. Madison cleared her throat.

"Not to stop this weird on weird relationship but the food's here and mom just text me she's home. She said once we get done eating to come strait home." Madison said repeating words from her phone.

"Okay then let's eat." I said and we started eating. Me and Eli splitting my fries that I gotten. It was silence til we got done eating. I looked over at Eli. "I'll text you later okay?" I ask him as we were getting ready to leave. He nodded and I was about to take out money when he stopped me.

"Don't worry about it Baby Blue. I've got this one." He told me taking the money out when Peter stopped him. He gave him a confused look.

"You guys are pretty much family. Its on the house again." Peter said and I gave him a laugh.

"Peter if you keep doing this for us your gonna go bankrupt." I said and Peter just rolled his eyes.

"Hey for you guys its worth it." He said and with that we left the restraunt.

We walked out and me and my sisters started walking home. Eli followed us making sure we got home and then walked back to his car at the dot. I smiled at how caring he could be at times. Well, he was all the time. Its one of the things that made me fall in love with him even more.

We looked in the drive way to see a car in it. Then I new that mom was home. I just groaned not really wanting to deal with her right now but new I had to anyway.

"You two go upstairs to your rooms while me and your sister have a talk." Mom told the younger two. I just sighed sat down on the couch while rolling my eyes. "Why were you with him again? On top of that you bring along your two sisters?"

"I tried to find someone to babysit them, but no one could do it on a Friday. They all had plans." I said and she just gave me a look of disgust.

"There your responsibility, not your friends. Why make them have to look after them?" She ask me and it was my turn for a mad look. I gave her my angry eyes.

"No mom there your responsibility. Not mine. I'm still a kid myself, so why should I have to watch them like that? I get that you have to make money so we can live its why I don't make no fuse about keeping them. All I ask for is a break a little once in a while and to be able to date Eli. Its not much to ask for." I told her screaming by now.

"This is not the way your father and I raised you." She said with a sigh. That's when I blew a casket. Raise me? They stopped raising me about the time of me being seven. When Brianna was born.

"Raise me? Mom when dad was alive he was truck driving. He was hardly home and when he was I didn't know if I should listen to him or not. When you guys got a divorce and he passed away you started constantly being gone. As far as I'm concerned I have no parents." I told her almost in tears. She seemed to be upset too.

"Look I'm sorry. You shouldn't be talking to me like this. I have this whole week off. You don't have to do anything. I've got it all covered. Just go be a teenager like you should be." She said with a sigh. I was still angry.

"Look, I'm gonna stay at a friends house tonight to cool off. We can talk about this later. I'm gonna stay all weekend. I'll be back probably late Sunday. Is that okay?" I ask her and she nodded. I just needed to get away. I went up stairs to text Eli.

_Do u have any room 4 me 2 stay_

_all weekend? ~ Clare_

I got a text back just little bit of less than a minute later. I smiled at his answer.

_Yes, it makes me feel better knowing_

_that ur safe n sound. Any reason y u_

_need 2 stay a night or 2? ~ Eli_

I frowned not really wanting to explain it over text message. So I just sent him the first thing that popped in my head. I hoped he didn't mind it.

_Thank u n yea there is a reason bt_

_I'll explain it later. Not wanting 2 _

_over text. Sorry ~ Clare_

As soon as I set my phone down to pack my things he text me back making me smile knowing that I had someone who really cared about me besides what little family I had.

_Yea I get it don't worry Blue Eyes._

_I expect a reason when u get here_

_thou. No excuses. Be there in a few_

_minutes. ~ Eli_

I smiled and answered his message back.

_Okay, bt please hurry up. Idk how much_

_longer I can spend in my own home_

_with my mother ~ Clare_

**Degrassi**

We finally made it to Eli's house and I grabbed my stuff from his car. He took it from my hands and opened the house door for me so I could walk in. He took my stuff up on to his room while I just looked around the living room. Just then I heard feet pounding on the stairs.

"Clare your here. I thought Eli was joking when he said you were coming over." Sandy said running up to me and giving me a hug. I smiled never getting tired of seeing her smiling face.

"Now would your big brother ever lie to you?" I ask her and she sat in my lap deep in thought before she gave her answer to me. I smiled at how cute her face was.

"Well, sometimes." She said making me laugh. Just then Eli came back from up in his room.

"Is she telling lies on me again?" He ask coming to take her from my hands. He put her on her back piggy style. I just smiled at how good of a brother he was. "Come on my parents are in the kitchen." We walked in the kitchen. "Mom, Dad I'm home and I've got Clare with me along with Miss Rotten on my back." He said and I hit him in the arm.

"Don't say that about your sister." I told him and he laughed. His parents started laughing too. They seemed pretty cool to me. I looked over at them. "Good afternoon Mr. and Mrs. Goldsworthy my name is Clare Edwards. Its nice to finally meet you." I told them shaking each hand.

"Like wise Clare." Mrs. Goldsworthy said to me with a smile. "And please call me Cece and this is Bullfrog." She said pointing at her husband. He gave me a look.

"Your Dad don't happen to be Randall Edwards does he?" He ask me and I just nodded my head confused. He smiled at me. "Its been a while since I've seen yall. How's your dad doing? What about Darcy, Madison, and Brianna?" He ask and I just kinda smiled.

"Well, I haven't seen my Dad in a while, but Darcy just recently went off to Kenya and Madison is still the annoying little sister ever. Brianna is doing just as good. Still getting into trouble, but good. Not to be rude but how exactly do you know my dad?" I ask him and he smiled.

"We were in the Army together." I just nodded my head. "Last time I saw any of you was at your Grandfather's funeral. I didn't even see you shed a tear. I thought you were strong for that."

"I was only nine. I had no clue what lung cancer was at the time. I still wish I didn't." I told him and he nodded his head. Eli looked over at me wondering if I'd ever tell him about my dad.

"Your parents still hanging in there? Last I heard he was a truck driver. Always been his dream to drive trucks." Bullfrog said and I just gave him a confused stare.

"He has now?" I ask and he nodded his head. "Well, after everything that happen my parents finally split up. Last time I talked to my dad face to face was right before he went to pick up my Grandmother from her job. That was the last time anyone talked to either of them." I said closing my eyes and holding on to my necklace.

"I'm sorry to hear that. How's the family dealing with it all?" He ask me a little sad that one of his best friends was killed in a car accident.

"I don't know anymore. No one really talks about it." I said them Cece finally stepped in to the conversation.

"Anytime you need to talk were here to listen." She told me with a smile and I nodded my head grateful to know that. I just smiled at them thankful, yet again, for someone to listen.

"Thank you that means a lot to me." I said and they just nodded there heads at me.

"So tell, us about yourself? Have you always lived here or did you just move here?" Cece ask me and I laughed at all the questions she had coming at once.

"Well, there's not much to tell about me and my life. But I was born here and just moved back two weeks before school started." They just nodded there heads like it explained why they'd never seen me before.

"You have to have some good stories. I'm sure your dad took you on the truck. He always said he wanted to just explore the world and get away from your mom on her week of the month." Bullfrog said making me blush at that. Sandy didn't exactly know what that was just yet.

"Um, good to know?" I said in more of a question form. "I didn't go with him much. We were all having troubles and I wasn't really in speaking terms with him at the time." I said and he just nodded his head. It got real quiet after that. No one saying a word.

"So who wants desert?" Cece ask breaking the silence everyone was having with the other. I just laughed and nodded my head. They were like the family I've always wanted.

**Degrassi**

"So how did you like the family? And that's on there worst day." Eli said making me laugh. If that's there worst day I'd love to see them on there best day.

"Really now?" I ask with a giggle. "They were cool. Its like the family I wish I had back. Back in the good old days. Before I new of the bad in the world." I mumbled and he just smiled. "I didn't really wanna break up with you." I told him looking into his eyes.

"You didn't, then why did you?" He ask me and I sighed not wanting to go into this right now.

"I didn't wanna take the chance of losing you. I'm losing everyone I love in my life and I didn't wanna take the chance of you walking out on me. Eli, its real hard to trust people in my life right now and you know that. I was scared you'd walk out on me after finding out my past. Like everyone I let in does." I told him in tears now. It was hard to cry in front of people and when I do then you have to be a good person.

"Clare, I told you I would never walk out on you. Not in a million years. I've fallen in love with you in these past three months. Why would I leave you?" He ask me looking me strait in the eyes. I couldn't believe he just confessed he loved me.

"I love you too Eli. I just can't believe I fell in love again. I left my old home to have a fresh start. I wasn't gonna talk to anybody. I didn't want friends little less a boyfriend in my life. I'm just glad that I did fall in love." I told him with a smile kissing him on the lips.

He smiled at me. "Why is that?" He ask me with that smirk I loved so much on his face.

"Because if I didn't then I would've missed out on a whole lot." I told him and he smiled and went back down for another kiss. "Will you be my boyfriend again?" I ask him this time asking him out. He laughed at me.

"Yes I would love to be your boyfriend again." He told me and then I started laughing. "What's so funny?"

"I just realized that I broke my rule of never giving the guy a second chance. I have to say though, its worth it." I told him and he just laughed.

"Well, I'm glad you can break rules every once in a while. Especially if I'm the guy your breaking them for." He said with a huge smile. I just laughed again.

"Eli?" I ask him as we got into his bed to sleep. I was snuggled into him on the bed while he just kissed my forehead.

"Hmm?" He ask me almost a sleep. I just smiled.

"I love you." I said and he smiled at me looking me in the eyes.

"I love you too Baby Blue." He said and kissed me on the lips. After that we fell a sleep. It was a place I didn't mind falling asleep. I loved being in his arms.

I wished I could stay here forever.

* * *

_Okay, so I updated this a bit early! I hope you liked it! I thought you could use less drama right now in this chapter! Just be prepared for the next chapter! There WILL be drama in it! =) I hate drama, but feel like I need to write this story! Its a bad story I know, but I really don't care! =P_

_Well, who can't wait for the new season of Degrassi in July? Yea its making me mad waiting that long to watch it! I already have nothing to do this summer, so I have to wait til mid summer to watch it? Yea, it does kinda suck a lot! _

_Happy Mothers Day to all your mothers out there! If your a mother reading this then, Happy Mothers Day to you! =) I hope everyone had a fantastic day with it! Hoped you wished your mother a happy one! If you didn't then do that NOW! =) It would make her happy, I bet ya! =)_

_Welp I'm gonna stop ranting on and on now! Hope you liked it and tell me what you think! =) Reviews I don't have to have but love them anyway! They make me feel good knowing that someone is reading this! =) _

**_If your still reading this quick question! When I get out of high school in like three years! The end of my ninth grade year now! Should I do something that has to do with writing? I don't know if I'm that good and just wanted to know what you all thought! =)_**

_Welp, bye for now! =)_


	10. An Unexpected Guest

**Welcome To My Messed Up Life**

Chapter 10

_An Unexpected Guest _

* * *

It was now the next day. My mom called me out of nowhere earlier asking me if I was still at my friends house. It was the first time she had been concerned for me since everything that had happen. I told her I was at Eli's house and she told me she just wanted to make sure I was okay and stuff. She said she loved me then hung up.

"So what was that about?" Eli ask me a few minutes after I got off the phone. He just shrugged at me and I laughed. "So what do you wanna do today?" He ask me while I smiled. "Mom and Sandy are gone. Dad's doing something around the house so its just you and me. Something we hardly ever get." With that the door bell rang. He groaned.

"Something we won't ever get here lately huh?" I ask him with a laugh as he went to answer the door. I was in his living room but couldn't see anyone. I figured it was just Adam or something.

"Clare can, you, um, come here a minute?" Eli ask me as I got up and went to the door. I still couldn't see the person being behind the door. "This dude claims to know you." I looked over and was shocked.

"L-L-La-Lane?" I ask stuttering over my words. "What are you doing here? You said you wanted nothing with us anymore. You said since he died you had no reason to be around us anymore." I told him getting frustrated at him.

"Um, so you do know him." Eli said making me look at him and calm down. "Can I be in on all this and everything."

"Eli, this is my older half brother Lane." I told him going a little louder on the half part. "Lane this is my boyfriend Eli." I said and he started getting mad.

"I can't believe you went and got another boyfriend." Lane said getting mad. I just rolled my eyes. "After everything you've been through. He's just gonna break your heart like everyone keeps doing." He said I got mad at this. Since when did he tell me what went on in my life?

"What the hell do you want?" I ask him not usually one to use words like that.

"Someone's not in a good mood." He said with a laugh. "Are you on your monthly or something?" He ask me with a laugh while I just rolled my eyes.

"Because you showed up ruining my entire weekend. Your the reason we got away from there. You wanted nothing to do with any of us and now your back in our lives? I'm not that stupid. I see through everyone of your tricks. Just like I use to when you had Mom and Dad cater to every little thing you wanted." I told him with vermin in my mouth.

"What are you talking about? Your mom couldn't stand me. You couldn't stand me. Madison wasn't fully there and Brianna warms up to anyone fast. Darcy just tried to get attention. I had everyone wrapped around my finger, but you. All I want to know is why?" He said getting mad at me for no reason.

"Cause I ignored everyone once you came along. I was already put in to the shadows with Darcy. Madison has 'problems' and Brianna was the baby. You came along and it was like I wasn't even there. I just stayed out of your way, but I put my foot down on things I knew you _SHOULDN'T_ be doing." I told him with a smirk on my face. I had been around Eli to long.

"Clare, are you okay? Do I need to get him out of here?" Eli ask me giving Lane daggers. I had to smile at how he was just about the best boyfriend ever. "Why didn't you tell me you had a brother?"

"Oh, so he doesn't even know about me? Does he know anything about the past? How about the time your mom caught you cutting yourself? You just wanted attention is what I told her." Lane said with a smirk trying to get under my skin. Eli gave me a shocked look.

"Its not exactly how that went down. Lane he knows nothing about my past. The only thing he knows about is how Dad and Grandma died. Now will you please get out of my life. All you've caused us is hell. Your the reason my parents broke up. Your the reason for almost everything. How scared do you think I am somebody is going to call that on the family again. I can't sleep at night wondering if we may have a chance of getting taken away." I told him but I wasn't in tears. I wasn't going to give him that satisfaction. Not today I wasn't.

"Will you please forgive me? Your my little sister. Nobody will forgive me unless you do. Your the leader of the family. Helen will, but none of the kids will. I'm sorry you felt so alone. I'm sorry cause of that you decided to try and kill yourself cause of me. Please just forgive me." He said and he honestly looked sorry.

"No Lane. I won't forgive you. And to be honest I didn't try and kill myself cause of you. I did it cause I was getting to the point that I was tired of living. It wasn't to kill myself anyway. I was just trying to show Mom and Dad how screwed up their daughter was and all it did was make them fight more. I don't need your pity on me. Just go away. Maybe one day I can forgive you, but not today. Your the reason, one of the reasons, that I can't trust anybody. Goodbye." I told him and with that I ran out the door.

"Clare, Clare come back." I could hear Eli's voice say. I just kept running. "Please will you talk to me Blue Eyes." He said but I just started running faster. I ran all the way to the dot. Holly J was at work today.

"Hey hows it go- Clare what's wrong?" Holly J ask me once she saw that I was depressed and wasn't in a good mood to be talking like that right now.

"My brother came and told Eli some of what happen in my past. No matter how much I run everything seems to follow me. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier on everyone if I was dead." I said and before Holly J could answer someone else did for her. I didn't know he had followed me.

"No it wouldn't be better. We all have bad things happen to us. Don't do that to yourself. Now, just a quick question from me. Are you still cutting yourself?" He ask and Holly J's mouth fell wide open.

"Your sister wasn't lying when she said that you did that." She said and I made mental note to kill Darcy later for telling Holly J and whoever else my life story.

"Yes Holly J I did. Don't go telling anyone. No Eli, I only did it that one time. I have thought about it lots of times but I had promised a friend of mine that I wouldn't ever do it again." I said and he sighed with relief.

"Why didn't you tell me about your brother?" He ask me and I sighed not wanting to go through this right now. "Clare you can't keep keeping these secrets from me anymore. Your a wreck and need to let it out before it becomes more than you can handle." He told me and I new he was right.

"I can't tell anyone anything." I told him and he gave me a look of trying to understand where I was coming from.

"Why?" He ask me and with that we forgot about everything around us. I just broke down crying right there. "Just tell me why." He said and I sighed once again.

"Because I know the moment I trust anyone your either gonna walk out on me or mom's gonna find out I'm happy and ruin it for me all over again. I can't take that happening. Its just easier for me to live in my own world making everyone else happy." I told him and he sighed.

"If you wanna make everyone happy then stay with me and tell me everything that's going on. You deserve to be happy too. Your taking that away from yourself and its not fair." He said and I sighed and smiled.

"It doesn't work that way. You just wouldn't understand where I'm coming from." I told him and then he looked me in the eyes and said something no one has ever said to me.

"Then make me understand." Just then I couldn't take it as memories came back to me.

_"Mrs. Cook?" The intercom said as I was sitting in my fifth period math class. It was seventh grade and I was excited to be in middle school. It felt nice._

_"Yes?" She said to the intercom. It was almost time for the bell to ring so I could go to my sixth period reading class. _

_"Can you please send Clare Edwards to the office for a moment?" She ask and I looked around weirded out. I didn't have to leave for anything so why couldn't I stay and mess around with my boyfriend in my next class? Crap what had I done already? It was close to March so what could I have done?_

_"Yes I can. Clare go ahead and take your stuff anyway. By the time you get back you'll be in sixth period anyway." She told me and I nodded my head. _

_I left the class room and went to the office. The lady behind the desk pointed to a room where a dark skinned woman waited for me. From the looks of it she was with something. Then it donged on me. She was with CPS, Children Protective Services. She was here to take me away._

_"Can I help you?" I ask her and she looked up and smiled at me._

_"Yes, now don't be scared, but I'm here to talk with you about you house. Just asking a couple questions." She told me. Of course I was going to be scared. Why wouldn't I? Some woman I didn't know was trying to take me away from the only family I ever come to know._

_"Okay." I told her being as nice as I could. Something my parents always taught me to do._

_"Is your house what you would call messy?" She ask me and I gave her a weird look. Why would I think my house was messy if I was the one who lived in it?_

_"No ma'am. I love my house." I told her and she wrote it down._

_"Now, I understand you live in a four bed room house with your parents, two older siblings, and two younger siblings. What are the room arrangements to that?" She ask me. I honestly didn't think it was any of her business but answered it anyway._

_"Well, my parents have a room. My brother has his own room being the only boy. I share a room with my older sister and my two smallest sisters have a room they share." I told her and she nodded._

_"Are there any dishes piled everywhere in the house?" She ask me. What kinda house did she think I lived in? She's gotta be crazy. Who ask these kinda questions?_

_"No ma'am there is not. Can I go now, cause nothing personal but you should have no right to be asking me questions like this." I told her and she just rolled her eyes. What a butt head._

_"Just doing my job. Just one more question then you can go. Do you feel safe in your own home?" She ask me and I had to laugh at this._

_"Of course I do. Do you think I would be there if I didn't?" I ask her. Truth be told I didn't feel safe in my home with my brother being there. It made me a nervous wreck. She didn't need to know that._

_"Okay thank you for your time. You can go now." She told me and I got up and went to the lady for a pass. Sixth period had done started so I need one to get in to class._

_"Nice of you to join us Miss Edwards. Please take your seat next to K.C." She told me as I gave her the pass. I nodded my head and sat in front of K.C. Something felt wrong when he didn't even make sure I was okay. He could tell something had happen but didn't even ask me. _

_"Can I go to the bath room please?" I ask the teacher after a while. I couldn't take it anymore and needed to cry. She nodded her head and I ran out of the door. Nobody came after me. My best friend at the moment was a grade a head of me anyway. I was lost and alone in the world at that very moment. _

_The way it stayed from then on in my life. Lost, alone, and confused. Nobody knew everything I was feeling from the smile I had on my face every since then._

"Clare? Hello? Are you still with me?" Eli ask me bringing me out of my flashbacks. I couldn't take it anymore and ran out of the Dot. I ran to the only place that calmed me anymore.

The park. It kept me okay for whatever reason. I loved it ever since I was a little kid. It brought back the good memories of my family in happier times.

The way I wished life would still be.

* * *

_Okay, so this is a pretty intense chapter! =) How many of y'all like it? I know it aint that good, but I hope you still like it!_

_Now, I know not many stories deal with CPS, Children Protective Services, but we really did get it called on us twice! Both times being my older brothers fault! He didn't wanna live with us and thought he could just get us all taken away! I wanted to kill him for it, but I'm over it now, so yea!_

_And I did have a seventh grade love! I still find myself thinking about him from time to time! He didn't cheat on me like K.C did to Clare in this though! We just kinda grew apart! I may explain that in another chapter! If you wanna here that story! _

_Well, I'm suppose to be in bed! So goodnight to everyone! While your at it, check out my new four or five shot Degrassi story_ **What Have You Learned?**_ Its suppose to be a funny one!_

_Welp, bye for now! =)_


	11. The fight

**Welcome To My Messed Up Life**

Chapter 11

_The fight_

* * *

_"Is your Mom or Dad home? We need to have a talk with them." Some young looking lady said as I went to the door. It felt like dajuv. That had done happen once to us already. I just nodded my head moving the barking dogs from her view. "Thank you sweetie." She said with a smile._

_"Mom some young lady is here asking to talk with you and daddy." I said as they got up and out of bed for once that day. Dad got a shirt on and they went to talk with the lady._

_I couldn't hear what they were saying but they just nodded there heads. Darcy was gone with a friend somewhere and Mom and Dad had gotten Madison and Brianna and brought them outside so me and the lady could talk. I didn't like where this was going one bit. She came and stood in front of me while I sat on the couch._

_"So since your about the only normal one of your sisters from what your family says, how do you feel about living in this house?" She ask me and I gave her a weird look. Me normal? She had me mistaken._

_"I love my family. There awesome." I told her with a fake smile on my face. We were falling apart. Nothing was normal anymore. I didn't like my family going down this path. We were strapped in for the ride though._

_"How do you feel about your brother?" She ask me looking me right in the eyes. I was good at lying to strangers mostly cause they didn't know how to tell when I was lying._

_"I love him don't get me wrong, but he's getting on my last nerve. Everyone in the family is giving in to him like he deserves everything he gets. I don't understand why. He has done nothing but bring this family bad stuff. He hasn't been anything good to anyone. He's tearing my family apart." I told her telling her some of the truth. She smiled._

_"Thank you for your time." She told me while she went to leave. I just smiled at her. I new who she was working with by the questions she was asking me. I just nodded my head and smiled back at her. "You may wanna spend more time with your daughter, but other than that you are fine and doing good." The social lady worker told my parents while mom just rolled her eyes while she wasn't looking. I sometimes just wanted to die._

_"Yes ma'am." Was all my dad said while shaking her hand and giving her a smile. The difference between my parents. My dad could be nice and my mom just rolled her eyes at everything. A habit I had pick up from her._

"I'm so sorry that happen to you." Eli told me while I was telling him about the second time we had CPS called on us. It was also the last time. "Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"How many people a day do you honestly run in to that say 'oh yea my dumb ass older brother didn't like us so he tried getting us taken away by calling CPS'?" I ask him and he was about to speak but stopped.

"You have a point there." He told me and I smiled at him. He new how to be funny in a time for being serious. I just kept finding reasons for falling in love with him. "Can you tell me about the cutting yourself now?" He ask me and I just laughed.

"Maybe later. I still don't see how he found out about that. Mom said she wouldn't say anything to anyone, oh wait. She screamed that at dad one day in front of all the family." I mumbled and he gave me a pathic sorrow look. "I don't want anyone's pity. Just stop now with the looks." I told him and he nodded.

"Well, tell me another story from your past at least." He said and I wanted to cry when I thought of the story I could tell him. The one on my Uncle, not really but he was close to it, getting murdered and the little girl he left behind.

"Okay I guess I could." I told him as we were still sitting on the swings in the park. It was getting a little dark but we didn't care. I sighed thinking about how Carly was doing. I hadn't seen her in at least a good year. She would be nine now being a year old than Brianna and stuff. Brianna was fixing to turn eight anyway so she would have to be nine. "I'll tell you about the day that we found out Benny had been murdered." He's eyes got big when he heard me say that.

_8th grade year is always tiring. I sighed on the bus, but wasn't going to let anything spoil my mood for Brianna's sixth birthday. I couldn't believe how big the smallest of us all was getting. She was just to cute sometimes and I just wanted to protect her like a great big sister should. I loved her to death._

_"Come on Sissy. Its time to get off the bus and go home." Brianna said with a big huge smile on her face. "I can't wait to eat cup cakes with Grandma and everyone else. Even Daddy is suppose to be home for it." She just had the biggest smile on her face going on and on about it._

_"Okay, okay, okay Brianna. I think I got it." I told her laughing getting off the bus. Once we were off we waited on Madison just to realize she had done gotten off before us. "Come on little bit, let's go." I told her and she took off to the house running and laughing. I saw Mom waiting on me. "Hey, why aren't you at home waiting?"_

_"Clare, I- I don't know how to tell you this." She said and I could tell she had been crying. Oh, crap, what have I done now? I knew she'd get mad at me for- wait. For what?_

_"Mom just let it out. I'm sure I can handle it. Look at everything we've been through over the few years." I told her with a fake smile even though I knew the news would be worse than this stuff._

_"Its Benny. He went missing Sunday after giving Carly a kiss goodnight and going on a date. That didn't think nothing of it. They finally called the police the next day. They found him today. Sweetie, they found him and the girl dead." She said and that's when I broke down in to tears. I did right there in front of God and everyone. Its another person gone._

_"No they couldn't of Mom. Oh God, he was suppose to walk his little girl down the isle trying to scare the boys away. He couldn't of- Oh God what about Carly? How's she taking it? I've got to go see my little sister!" I said just breaking in to tears. He was like another dad to me. Sweet little seven year old Carly being like another sister._

_"We can't sweetie. No matter how much you want to. We just can't, cause you've got school for two more days. On the weekend we will." She said and went inside. I just laid in my yard sprawl out not caring who was watching. _

_I had just lost another person in my life. It just isn't fair to anyone._

"Why are you keeping all this to yourself? I wont ever leave you alone. You can tell me anything." Eli said and I smiled a little but the urge to get away was bugging me.

"I know and I appreciate it, I really do. Its just hard to trust people anymore. Don't worry your gaining my trust. Come on take me back to my house. I wanna take you for a ride." I told him and he gave me a questioning look.

"You can't drive. Where in the world are we going?" He ask me as we got up and walked to my house. I just laughed. He must of not ever road a four wheeler.

"I'm taking you on this trail I found. Have you not ever road a four wheeler?" I ask him and he shook his head. "Why am I not surprised. Its not that scary though. Come on hope on." I told him once we got to the house. I got the four wheeler out and he hopped on.

"I would not expect you to be one to ride these things." He said and I laughed getting out of my bad mood I was just in. Nobody ever does expect it out of me.

"I just started being a little girly with the make up and stuff this year. Before this I was the biggest tomboy you'd ever meet. That's my Mom's fault. Well, I tell her that." I said with a laugh. It got quiet for a while and then I stopped. "Were here."

"Wow, its so beautiful. How exactly is it your Mom's fault your a tomboy?" He ask me and I smiled at my favorite story. He could tell it was cause he started smiling too.

"When Darcy was born they couldn't decide if they wanted a boy or girl. One day it would be a boy then the next it would be a girl. Right before she was born they finally decided they wanted a girl. That's what she came out as. So she would act a little bit like a boy some. When I came along they out strait wanted a boy. They didn't get it, but my dad turned me in to his little mini him. It was like that for years, til Lane finally came back in the family to take his place by my Dad's side so I went to be a Momma's girl."

"Until now when they got a divorce and so now nothing seems right." Eli finished off for me and I nodded. We sat down on the hill facing the filed. I smiled at how well he knew me.

"Yea. I seen the divorce coming the first time Lane stepped foot on our yard to come live with us. He just had this look in his eyes. He was mad he didn't have a family like mine. Well, I don't have that family anymore either." I said almost in tears. He just wiped them away when they did fall.

"Its okay. You have me now. You've got my family and Brianna as well. That's all you need." He said and kissed me. It was the best kiss we had yet. He finally stopped not wanting to get to carried away with it. I wanted more but didn't say anything to dazed to speak. Its the best kiss ever.

"Just promise me you won't leave me like everyone else does?" I ask him and he looked right into my eyes when he said this next thing. I could tell he meant it too.

"I promise. I could never do that to you."

**Degrassi**

"You have to tell us more."

"Yea Clare. You can't keep it to yourself forever."

"Please just tell us." Alli screamed at me and I laughed. It was Holly J, Fiona, and Alli. We were at school on a Monday eating by ourselves. They had called an girl lunch or something. Anya wasn't there just yet having to get work done.

"Come on. Were all best friends here." Fiona said begging me. "Is he a good kisser or not?"

"I'm not telling you anything Boyfriend Stealer." I said with a laugh at her face. "You stole Adam from Brianna, so you just might try stealing Eli from me."

"Two things wrong with that." She told me holding two fingers up. I laughed. "One is only little Brianna can call me that. Number two is why would I try to steal my best friends boyfriend if I have my own?" I had to laugh and roll my eyes.

"What did I miss?" Anya ask with a trey in hand as she sat down.

"Just those two fighting like usual." Holly J said with a laugh. Anya rolled her eyes at us but laughed along with her anyway. Just then Madison came up to me crying.

"Whoa, whoa your not suppose to be here little one. Its not your lunch table and this is the time for you two to stay away from each other." Alli said not noticing the tears I could see in her eyes.

"Alli stop it! Madison don't listen to her and sit down. Now what's wrong with you?" I ask her and that's when everyone could see her crying.

"They found out Clare. You said it would be different this time. That I wouldn't have to worry about people making fun of me. You said Degrassi was a better school. Why did you lie to me? I'm use to mom lying but not you." She said still clinging on to me. What did they find out about.

"What did they find out about Madison?" I ask her and she took in a deep breath before answering.

"They found out about my epilepsy. They started making fun of how I have them." She said and I started getting angry with these people.

"That's it! I'm tired of all this bull crap. Nobody has any right making fun of that. Show me to these people now!" I told her and she gave me frighten eyes.

"No Clare! I Don't need the most stablest person in my life right now getting hurt by me. I couldn't live with myself. Just let it slide. It'll pass after a while. It has to. It did last time too." She told me but still had tears in her eyes. I didn't care and I got up. "I'm going to get Eli on you." She said and I stopped amazed that she would want anything to do with him. "Last time you got in a fight like that you got kicked out of school for a month. I still can't believe you kicked that girls butt." She muttered. I sighed but kept walking.

A few minutes later I heard screaming coming from someone. "Clare no! Don't you dare go and get in a fight. I would love to see someone get there butts kicked for messing with Madison but you can't do this. No matter how much they deserve it." He said and I broke down in his arms.

"Its not fair Eli. We came here to get away from it all. These people can't get away with it." With that I got angry again. I looked over at Madison. "Who was it?" I ask her. She didn't answer and just stayed silent. "Madison if you don't answer me now I swear to God you'll regret it." I told her and she sighed pointing to some random girl. I walked over there.

"Can I help you with something?" The girl ask then she saw Madison. "Aw, did you go get your sister to fight your own battles? You scared to go into a seizure or something? How pathetic." She said and with that I punched her in the face. "You've ask for it now." She told me and we started fighting.

First I was on top of her. I got a few punches to the face and one or two slaps to it too. Next thing I new I was on bottom and she was punching me in the face. I managed to punch her in the stomach and she fell to the floor. I got back on top of her and kept hitting her for a few minutes. We kept doing this for a few minutes.

"Do something Eli! I don't need my sister getting hurt." I heard Madison say with tears going down her face. Next thing I know Eli had picked me off of the girl. I gave him a death glare.

"I'm not done with her! Let me go! Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, messes with my sisters and get away with it. Especially on something as serious as this." I told him and he sighed.

"I know Clare, but you also know I don't like seeing you or your sisters cry. Both your sisters have become little sisters to me too. All you Edwards need is to be shown a little love. Now come on and I'll take you guys home." He told me and I sighed.

"No you can take Madison home if you want. Mom should still be at the house since she's here all week. I'm staying at school. I have to much to get done. I can't afford to miss." I told him and Madison clanged to me.

"I'm not going anywhere without Clare. I'm staying at school with Clare too." Madison said and Eli sighed. He was defeated. He went back to what he was doing and I went back to my table. "Clare?" She ask me in a small voice as we got back to the table and sat down.

"Yes?"

"I think I'm warming up to your little boyfriend. He seems okay and treats you well. I'll get to know him better for your sake. I forgot what it was like when me and you were so close." She told me and I sighed.

"Hey we've been through all this together. I needed to get away from it all and we all jumpped in a car and went. I know you miss the sisterly bonding we did when I had no friends and boyfriend. Anytime you need me with no one else let me know. We can let Brianna go spend the night with Sandy and pull an all nighter." I told her and she smiled. I hadn't seen that in a while.

"Sounds good to me. Thanks Clare your an awesome big sister." She gave me a hug and with that she walked back to her friends and Holly J's little sister.

"What was that about?" Anya ask me giving me a weird look. I just shrugged not really sure myself.

"Well, anyway, so tell us exactly what happen at your date again." Fiona ask me trying to help change the subject. I gave her a smile.

"Yea what she said." Alli told us and we laughed.

"He promised me he wouldn't leave me." I told them with a huge smile. They gave me a weird look. All except Fiona. She new some what of the things that had happen. "Anyway you all still coming over for Brianna's party Friday night?" I ask them and they all nodded.

This was all to be interesting.

* * *

_Okay so what did you guys think? I know its getting boring now and all and I'm so freaking sorry! I've kinda lost interest in my own life story! =( Sad isn't it?_

_Well, so hows everyone's summer going? Mine is good so far even if its only been two days lol! I've got a lot planed this summer so I don't know how I'm gonna upload chapters of stories and stuff! _

_How did everyone enjoy the promo of Degrassi? I pray to god that Eli and Clare get back together! I hope Drew doesn't get killed! Looks like Adam has someone new after Fiona and what is going on between Dave and Alli? That certainly wasn't Sadie under his arm! =) Tisk, tisk with him! =(_

_Anyway hope you guys have been doing good! I know I have and you better be too lol! It would be nice to know that you have!_

_Bye for now! =)_


	12. Brianna's Birthday Party

**Welcome To My Messed Up Life**

Chapter 12

_Brianna's Birthday Party_

* * *

It was now Friday night. Mom had let Brianna invite anybody she wanted after all the mean things she had said and done to her. We had everyone coming over. She invited pretty much all of my friends, Eli's little sister, and was even nice enough to let Olivia come over for Madison. Saying everyone needed to have someone.

Just then the bell rang and there was Declan, Olivia, and Holly J. I smiled letting them inside to our home. It wasn't in the best shape right now but that's cause Brianna and Madison had came back through making a mess again.

"You look like you could use some help." Holly J said as they all three came inside. I looked up at her and sighed. "You want us to help?" She ask while I just shook my head no.

"I've got it don't worry. Olivia if you want Madison is up stairs in her room." I told her and with that she ran off to find her. I just smiled and laughed. "You two can make yourself at home while I finish my cleaning."

"You mean to tell me your little boy toy isn't here? Its a miracle." Declan said with sarcasm. I had to laugh at that. It didn't sound right on him like it did Eli.

"Haha, Declan. Sarcasm just doesn't suit you. Try something else." I told him and he laughed while I finished up what little I had left to do. "Brianna, Declan and Holly J are here. You gonna come and see them?" I ask her and she came down. She smiled and ran to them giving them hugs.

"I can't believe you guys came! Thank you." She told them with a big smile on her face.

"Of course we would come. We wouldn't miss our little sisters birthday for nothing." Holly J said and Brianna smiled real big. Of course she would smile real big.

Just then there was a knock on the door. I went to open the door and there was Eli and Sandy standing there waiting to be invited in with the rest of us. I just laughed. Of course being polite they wait instead of just coming on in like I told them they could. Well, Sandy does when its just her, but Eli trys not to, unless he knows I'm upset about something. Then he comes right on in like he owns the place.

"Speak of the devil." I said as I let them in and Declan laughed a little.

"That's a good one Clare. I still can't believe we got here before he did." Holly J said as she was laughing too. Sandy and Brianna had done ran outside to play on the swings. I have no clue why she didn't invite more friends than that.

"You are just mean to me." Eli mumbled making us all laugh. "So who all are we waiting on?" He ask and I sighed saying names.

"We're waiting on Alli, Adam, Fiona, Sav, Anya, and Peter. I swear Peter loves that little girl more than anybody." I said and everyone laughed. Then Eli gave me a strange look.

"What about Drew? Alli will be the only one, besides Peter cause of Darcy, here without another person. I thought Brianna would invite him." He said still giving me a strange look.

"She doesn't like Drew. It took a lot of convincing to let her invite Alli. She doesn't like her either. It amazes me sometimes how she can just say who she does and doesn't like." I said and they started laughing. "What?"

"Where do you think she gets it from?" Holly J ask me and I turned red. Just then the door bell rang saving my butt. Saved by the bell. I loved that show.

"Hello Sav, Anya, and Alli. Come right on in. Were waiting on Peter, Adam, and Fiona now." I said and they all nodded there heads. I let them in and we all just sat there in silence for a while.

Finally the last two came and we sat there watching T.V for a good while. I would get up to check on Olivia, Sandy, Madison, and Brianna some. Me and Eli would take turns doing this. Just then we got bored and decided to share a secret. Just one secret.

"I've sent bad photos I shouldn't to an ex boyfriend." Alli said being the first to talk. She looked around and pointed to a random person who just happen to be Peter.

"I use to do drugs." He said then pointed to Holly J. She sighed and looked at the floor.

"I use to have a big crush on Spinner." She said and everyone just nodded there head. I had no idea who he was so I reminded myself to ask her about that later. She pointed to Declan.

"Even though Holly J already knows this, I was the reason Spinner and Jane broke up." He said and everyone sat there shocked. "I've changed my ways though." He pointed to Anya.

"I like to L.A.R.P a lot." She said shrugging her shoulders. She said it in more of a question though. She pointed at Sav.

"I don't really have a secret." He said as he thought for a minute. Then it hit him. "I tried running away when I was little. Its about the only thing I can think of." He pointed to Adam.

"I was dressed as a girl for the first two months of my babyhood." He said with a little blush while everyone started laughing. He pointed to Fiona.

"I drink a lot and am getting help for it." Just then she pointed to Eli who sighed and just sat there. I gave him a look and he just gave it back to me.

"Fine, I like to listen to Taylor Swift some." He said and it got quiet. Then everyone started laughing. He pointed to me the last one to go in the room. I sighed.

"I have an older half brother whom took my place with our Dad when he moved in with us." I said real fast and everyone just stared, except for Eli, at me a while. I frowned. "Any questions?"

"Yea, um, one, you hiding anything else from us?" Anya ask looking me strait in the eyes. "That's a pretty big secret to keep." I put on the biggest smile I could.

"Nope nothing else." I said and they all just stared at me not believing it. "I'm serious guys. Just watch out for Madison for me." They all nodded there heads.

Just then Madison and Olivia came into the room. Olivia sat on Declan's lap while Madison sat on Eli's. Holly J and I gave each other weird looks until we noticed what they were doing. Just then each one gave the boys a huge kiss on the cheek and then ran off to Madison's room laughing. The rest of us started laughing while they just sat there dumbfounded.

The door bell rang just then.

"I'll get it." I said going up to it to see Lane there. "What do you want?"

"To give my little sister her birthday present." He said and I glared at him.

"What else do you want?" I ask him and he sighed looking me in the eyes with the biggest sorrowful eyes I had ever seen on him. "Well, I'm waiting."

"For you to forgive me." He said and I gave him a look. "You and your best friend would always go to church so I know you believe in that kinda stuff. You even wear a purity ring." He said and I glared at him some more.

"I forgave you a long time ago. I just don't trust you enough to let you back in to my life. Most of the stuff that has happened is your fault anyway." I told him and he sighed.

"I know you've done told me a thousand times. I'm sorry. I didn't know all the things that happen would make you go that far. I didn't think of how they'd affect you. Your the only normal one in this family." He said and then I laughed.

"What family? Dad is gone, Darcy left to help others, Mom is to engrossed in work, and Madison and Brianna are still to little to understand. You call that a family?" I ask and he sighed walking on in.

"Eli. I see you still managed to stay with my sister." He said and everyone gave him confusing looks. "She usually runs away from love by now."

"Thanks Lane. That was the old me though. This is the new me. The new me isn't scared anymore. She actually tries now." I said and he laughed.

"Whatever, anyway, you gonna introduce me to your little friends?" He ask and I sighed.

"Lane this is Declan, his girlfriend Holly J, her best friend Anya, Anya's boyfriend Sav, his little sister Alli, Declan's twin sister Fiona, her boyfriend Adam, and then Darcy's boyfriend Peter. Guys this is my brother Lane." I said and the guys got up.

"Do we need to take care of him for you Clare?" Declan ask going into over protective brother mood. I liked seeing people actually worried about me for once. It was refreshing.

"Nah, were good for right now. If he tries anything though, then you can." I said as Eli put his arms around me and glared at Lane. He just glared right back.

"Since when did you change? Last time I checked you were scared of your own shadow, now you have this many friends." Lane said and I just glared.

"Please don't bring up the past." I said to him and he just got an evil smirk on his face.

"Oh so they don't know about how jealous you got when I moved back in? Or how you ran from what six dudes? Maybe they don't even know about any past deaths either." He said listing things off. "I bet Eli would like to know about why you got kicked out of the last school you were in?" I got mad.

"They had it coming at them! You mess with me all you want, but you leave my family alone. They still didn't get kicked out." I said angry now. "I ran from the guys cause our family was screwed up enough that, I couldn't tell you what real love was. I could a little now. Besides I don't go talking about deaths either. If I wanted somebody to know about how Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, and Benny died I would tell them." I was really angry now.

"Did you tell them how the guys got a broken nose? Or how you broke that promise to do that to them?" Lane ask and he was really smirking by now. I just sat there not being able to move.

"They shouldn't of started that rumor. Its not my fault she has problems like that. They were taking advantage of her and I didn't like it. You didn't either." I told him and he stopped smirking. Ha! I had him.

"Yea well, at least I didn't go beat the crap out of them and get kicked out of school." He said and with that I went after him, but Eli stopped me before I could. He just smirked. "Aw, you need more people to beat up."

"Nah, I'm good. I should have beat you up years ago. All Da- Dad-, all Daddy was for you is a sperm donor. She didn't want my Mom to be happy, so she stole him from her. I hope you are happy. You broke them up. Just know that even if they were divorced they still loved each other very much. Love does exist." I told him and his eyes got wide when I said 'Daddy'.

"You believe in love again?" He ask me and I nodded my head again looking at Eli. "And you called Randall 'Daddy' again. I've not heard that come out of your mouth, since, since the accident." Lane said like he was trying not to cry. I sighed. I didn't mean to be mean to him.

"Look, I'm sorry for saying that. You know why we moved so quickly. Nobody could handle being there anymore. Daddy, wasn't a sperm donor. Your here on this Earth for a reason. Yes its been a while since I've called him that, or since I've believed in love. What do you expect? You saw how Grandma was with guys, or how everyone in the family has girls older than boys. Our parents divorced for crying out loud. What makes you think I would believe in it? Saddest thing I saw it coming." I said with a huge sigh. He looked sad.

"Look, I'm sorry I got your parents broken. I was mad myself. You had the perfect life. You had a mom and dad who were still together. You had an older sister and two younger ones. The entire family loved you more than anything. You would do anything for them." He said with a sigh like he was sad. He looked like he was.

"You call what I have a family? Sure I had parents who were still together and three sisters that I love dearly. Did you ever stop to think that maybe I wanted a brother who would scare the guys away? Or when I had a bad day I could pretty much tell him anything. Sure I could Darcy, but she was busy with being popular. Madison is in her own little world cause of yea that, and Brianna is too little. I was the one they had do things. They had me more of a maid than a daughter. Why do you think I was always over at Bella's?" I ask him and it finally got to him.

"To get away from the family you wanted. Then why did you cut yourself that one day? Sure you only did it once-" I looked around for a little bit. "How many times Clare?" He ask. Everyone was looking at me with intense stares.

"I promised I wouldn't ever do it again and I keep my promises. I did think about it, but I manged to stop myself from doing anything." I said and he sighed with... was that relief? "Why do you care?"

"Your my baby sister. Sure I have five other little sisters, but you were the only one to put your foot down on me. Give me a piece of your mind. You don't remember that time you got hit with your phone? You got mad when I wouldn't hurry up and hit me in the, yea. I threw it at you." He said and I gave him an angry look.

"Yea I had a bruise for a good week." I said and he put his head down. "What about the time you hit me in the leg with a freaking pellet gun. No, wait I think it was a Bee Bee gun. All I did was push past you to get the ants off me." I said with a sigh and he duck his head even more.

"Sorry bout that. We had good times though too. Maybe more bad than good, but there still were some good days in there too." He said and I smiled.

"Yea there was some good days. If it wasn't for you tricking me, then I wouldn't have found something that helped me calm down. Thank you for that." I said and he laughed. They looked at me strangely.

"Not to interrupt but what exactly happened that was so bad with your brother?" Holly J ask. Fiona gave me a sad look. I had told her a little bit, okay almost all of it. I trusted some more than others. Fiona had some problems too, so we would stay up at night talking about it.

"He's, um, the reason, um, that." I couldn't really finish my sentence. Lane saw this and took in a deep breath.

"I'm the reason her parents split up." Lane said and everyone's eyes got huge. "I know it wasn't nice, but I just got angry at the time coming from a bad past and didn't think I needed help. Our dad didn't have much to do with us, so I got mad seeing her happy with a family." He told them and Peter talked first.

"Dude that so wasn't a cool thing to do." He looked over at Peter and sighed. "Darcy said it took Clare a while to come with the terms of it. She said it took her a little over a six months to get over." Just then Lane looked around.

"Where is Darcy anyway?"

"She had to leave for Kenya a little early." I told him and he smiled.

"At least she's doing something with her life. What do you plan to do with yours Clare?" He ask me and I sat there in Eli's arms shocked. I hadn't given it much more thought.

"I hope to become a writer. Maybe travel the world for a little while." I said going in to a day dream on all that. To get away from everything. Just me and the open road. Maybe even Eli too.

"That's some serious goals. It was another reason everyone in the family liked you the most." He said with a smile. I gave him a strange and confused look.

"Excuse me?"

"Don't play dumb. Everyone loved that you knew where you were heading with your life. That you had plans and was going for what you wanted. They liked that you didn't relied on guys for help. That you were independent. You still are. You just have help when you need it. Your letting people in again. I'm glad to see you happy." Lane said with a smile. I sat there with a smile also.

"I'm glad to see your still alive." I told him with a laugh and gave him a hug. "So what exactly did you come down here for?" I ask him and he laughed a little nervously.

"You see, there's this girl that I've been dating for a year now. Well, a little longer than a year you just didn't know about her. I knew you would try and scare her off or get attached and it wouldn't last. You know like your last boyfriend." He said and I cringed.

"You promised me you wouldn't bring his sorry ass up. I'm not positive but I think he cheated on me." I said and Eli gave me a confused look.

"I thought K.C. was your last boyfriend?" Eli ask me and I moved around nervously.

"No I had three boyfriends after him. The last one I had lasted a week. I couldn't take it anymore after that. He got to clingy." I said and all the girls laughed. "Plus I think he cheated on me cause the next day he had a new girlfriend." I just brushed it off as all the guys started getting mad.

"I wouldn't ever do that to you. I love you to much to hurt you. Your my one and only." He told me right there in front of everyone. I smiled.

"I love you too Eli." I said and gave him a peck on the lips. "Now, Lane on with the girl."

"Well, you see, I ask her to marry me not long ago. She said she would love too. She wanted to meet the family. I didn't want her to meet my mom and since dad is gone for a while, I thought she could meet you, the little one's, and Helen. She would meet Darcy but since she's gone, so yea." He said and I smiled. I get to meet his girlfriend. Great. Someone else to come in to this family. Just great.

"Yea sure." I said and he sighed with relief. Great just great.

**Degrassi**

Everyone had done left the party by now. Olivia, Sandy, and Eli were the only one's left. Olivia was staying with Madison and Sandy was staying with Brianna. They were all up stairs and mom was down here with us watching T.V keeping an eye on Eli. She was scaring me a little, but I found it entertaining to see Eli fidget under her gaze.

"So Eli, what are you making in school?" My mom ask. She said she'd try with him and I was amused with this conversation.

"I'm on the honor roll ma'am." He told her and she looked impressed a little bit.

"Favorite subject?" She ask him.

"English."

"Do you plan to go to college?"

"Yes ma'am. I hope to major in writing." She was real impressed by now.

"You know you remind me of someone. I can't put my finger on who." She told him and I started to laugh. "Clare what's so funny?" She ask and I laughed harder.

"Mom that's cause his dad is Bullfrog Goldsworthy." With that her eyes got big and she started laughing for who knows how long. "Now why are _you_ laughing?"

"Cause when you two were younger we would joke about how you'd whined up together. You had the biggest crushes on each other. It scared your dad and brother to death. You were only five and six but still. It was cute. I don't mind you going out now." Mom said all this while I sent a text to Eli and Alli. Eli just nodded his head.

"Mom Alli just text me asking if I could spend the night. Is it okay?" I ask her and she sighed before answering.

"Yea you can go. Tell Eli goodnight and I'll drive you down there." She told me getting up but I shook my head.

"No mom your okay. Stay here with the little one's. Eli can drive me." I told her that while he nodded his head. She gave me a look for a second.

"Are you sure? Its no problem to drive you." She said and I was about to say something when Eli beat me to it.

"Don't worry Mrs. Edwards, its really no problem. Besides it'll give us some time to just talk. We don't get that much anymore." He told her and she nodded her head. I went got some stuff packed for all weekend and was back down in a flash.

"You staying all weekend?" She ask me and I nodded my head. "Okay just be careful and be home by three on Sunday." With that we were in the car on the way to Eli's house. My mom may be trying, but it doesn't mean I have to too.

"Your being quiet today." Eli said as we drove the short ten minutes to his house. I was to tired this week. Mom may of been home, but they were so use to me that they didn't go to her for help with anything.

"I'm just tired and ready for bed. Its all I can do to keep my eyes open. That party tired me out." I told him which wasn't exactly a lie. Although, it wasn't the truth either. "You wanna know a secret?" I ask out of no where.

"Sure lay it on me." He told me with a smirk of his. I just giggled then got real serious.

"You were my first kiss." I told him and just like that his smirk got bigger.

"You mean I got the pleasure of taking the virginity of your lips?" He ask with the biggest smirk I've ever seen a guy have. I just rolled my eyes.

"Yes you took that away from it." I told him and he laughed. Then got serious too.

"I'm glad I got to. You mean to much to me. It makes me proud to know that I'm the first one, hopefully the only one, who got to kiss you." He told me and I smiled. He, so far, is the only guy I can see a future with. I may have been in love, but it wasn't real love like it is with Eli.

"Are your parents home this weekend?" I ask once we got to his house to find no other cars there.

"No they bailed when they heard 'no kids all weekend.' I may have said something about staying at Adam's, but..." His sentence trailed off at that. I laughed at how he was acting. "So, Miss Edwards, we have my whole house to ourselves. What do you wanna do?" He ask me and I laughed.

"I know what you would love to do." I told him going up to kiss him. I was almost to his lips. "But its not what I wanna do." I said with a laugh as I ran off inside. Thank god they don't lock there door and Eli gave me a key anyway. I ran to his room and locked the door.

"Nice try Clare. I know how to unlock my own door." Eli told me as the nob turned I hid behind the door. He didn't bother to shut it behind him. "Clare?" He ask looking around. I snuck up behind him.

"Boo!" I said and I swear he jumped six feet in the air. I was laughing so hard.

"Its not funny." He mumbled, but I was still laughing. I didn't hear him shut the door and lock it. Next thing I new I was pined under him on the bed. "I like this position."

"I'm sure you do. Why exactly do you like it?"

"Cause all I have do is bend down to do this." He kissed me on the lips. "And I can stare into your big blue eyes all day if I wanted too." I blushed at how he was looking at me like that. "Hey don't blush. Your eyes are my favorite place, besides your lips, on your face. Its what drew me to you in the first place."

"Oh really. What's kept you here?" I ask him as he looked into my eyes. He looked deep into them. Blue clashed with green. He kissed me on the lips.

"You." He mumbled kissing me again. "Everything about you. The way you put everyone before yourself. How your not ever satisfied til you've helped someone. Most of all how you put your family before anything. Even me. I've not ever met a girl to do that til you came along." He said and I smiled for once in a long while. We kissed again.

It started out nice and slow. Before we knew it the kiss started getting more and more heated. I didn't want it to stop. He started biting on my bottom lip til I finally opened my lips letting our tongues explore the others. He stopped kissing me on the lips going for my neck. He was leaving little marks and I new it, but I didn't care at the moment. I just wanted him.

"We need to stop." Eli said placing one more kiss on my lips then laying beside me. After I got back to normal and noticed what could've happened I smiled.

"Your not like the others." I said whispering it. He gave me a strange look. "If it was any other guy they would've wanted more. You stopped remembering that I wanted to wait. I'm glad I didn't run when its all I've ever known. I'm glad I stayed with you." I told him looking into his eyes. "I really do love you Eli. Please don't leave me."

"I could never leave you. I'm glad you didn't run either. Those two weeks we went away from each other I was so depressed. I didn't know what to do. Even if I wanted to leave, which I don't, I couldn't do it. You mean way to much to me. I'm just glad your not like most girls and cling to me. Actually you distance your self more than anything." He said and I looked down at the ground.

"Bad relationships in the past." I told him and he gave me a look.

"Why don't you tell me about them." He said and I laughed. He would really be freaked out.

"My first boyfriend was back in sixth grade. He moved without me knowing so I just figured we were threw. Then I dated my best friend for a good while. I got tired and broke up with him. We just got to were we recently started talking again cause he's going out with one of my friends. Then I started dating K.C. All that went down when I found him cheating and couldn't really trust any guys since. He wasn't a real love. I thought I loved him, but I love you more than I've ever loved him."

"What about the one's after him, but before me?" He ask me and I laughed.

"After that I dated this guy a year younger. I was still trying to get over the fact I was cheated on and this guy didn't have many girlfriends, so he clanged to me. It scared me once he said the words 'I love you' after two weeks so I ended it. Then I went out with this guy for about a month but wouldn't talk to him since I was real shy and trying to get over the last two so he broke up with me. A year later I went out with the last dude for a week. He scared me and kept asking me questions I didn't like. I broke up with him just for him to start going out with a girl younger than me the next day. It was sad."

"I'm sorry you went through all that Blue Eyes. I hope I'm the last boyfriend you ever have and your the last girlfriend I ever have." I guess he realized what he was doing. "I'm not rushing it to fast am I?" He ask me nervously. I smiled.

"No your not." I told him with a huge smile. Cause for once life was good. For once I felt like I was where I was suppose to be.

For once I felt happy.

* * *

_I'm so sorry for the long wait! I've been gone for the last two weeks with no computer! I just got caught up on all the degrassi stuff going on! _

_Let me tell you that even if I won't like Jake he is freaking hott! It caught me off guard how he'd be that good looking! I pray to god that Drew doesn't die from what I've seen!_

_ Anyway, getting on I wanted to send a shout out to_ **Dramarose**_! Thanks for being a reader and loving the story so much! I'm glad to see I've still got fans on here!_

_If anybody has any questions or anything on the story send me a review or send me a PM! Thanks for reading! =)_

_Bye for now! =)_


	13. The Family Dinner

**Welcome To My Messed Up Life**

Chapter 13

_The Family Dinner_

* * *

It was now about a week later. Last weekend was a very interesting deal, but this one will be too. Lane was suppose to come over with his little girlfriend. Something didn't feel right. He just didn't seem to excited when talking about her. He didn't tell us her name or anything. Just that he wanted her to meet us.

I sighed and got ready for today. He was coming over in about a hour and Eli would be here any minute. I smiled when thinking about him and got those same butterflies in my stomach. He could always do this to me.

I was surprised when Mom said that he could come over for dinner tonight. She was trying and even Madison had warm up to him. Before long she'll have the baby pictures out too. I just laughed. Shoot, even Lane wanted him over here. That really surprised me right there.

Just then the door bell went off in the living room. I ran down stairs to see if it was Eli, or if Lane was finally early for once. I got to the door and answered it.

"Hey, what's up Eli?" I ask once I saw who it was. He leaned down and gave me a kiss. Right then two little kids came running down the stairs. It was Brianna with Madison following behind her.

"Eli, your here, your here!" Brianna screamed running into his arms. I had to laugh at how she acted sometimes. I smiled finally happy her birthday was over. Nothing against her, but that was the day Benny was found murdered. It still hurts our family.

"Yes I'm here. Why wouldn't I be?" He ask her and Madison finally spoke up for a little bit.

"We thought that Clare had finally decided to run away. She always has. I don't think she will with you though. I think you'll be around for a while." Madison said and I smiled at her. She went up and gave him a hug. "Just don't break her heart or we all will personally hurt you." She said with a death glare. Eli smirked. "I mean it." With that his smirk was swiped off.

"Don't worry I don't plan on breaking her heart." He said and put his arm around my shoulder. I snuggled up to him a little. Madison gave me a happy look. Eli noticed. "Why are you smiling so much?"

"Because, my sister is finally coming back to her normal self. She has a smile on her face. Plus she's letting you touch her. That's not normal. She gets really weirded out when people touch her. With you she doesn't." Madison said and Eli smiled.

"That's cause she _looves_ me!" Eli said with a smirk. I just rolled my eyes but still had a huge smile on my lips. It was moments like these that my life didn't feel so messed up that much. "Besides I'm just that sexy."

"Now that's a matter of opinion." Madison said and I just busted out laughing after the look on Eli's face. It was priceless. I took my phone out and took a picture. "Is that going on Face Range?" Madison ask with a smirk.

"Oh most definitely." I told her and started typing away. The caption read _'Eli's face after getting dissed by my little sister Madison.' _Eli gave me a look of begging. "You can't beg your way out of this one."

"Fine I'm gonna have to chase you." With that we were going around the living room with it. "Your not sending that anywhere." He said and I laughed.

"Fine have my phone. Just know that its done been sent and that the picture is locked. Figure out the code and you have the picture." I told him handing the phone off. He sighed and just handed it back. "That's what I thought."

"Eli, you may as well just give up on her with a phone in hands. She's sneaky and I don't know how she does it. Just be careful around her with a phone." Madison said and Brianna started agreeing. Eli went through my pictures on my phone.

"Your real great at taking pictures Clare, but please, leave me out of them." He said and I had to laugh. He wanted all of me. Isn't that what he said?

"No can do Eli. You wanted all of me and that's what your gonna get. I just won't take as many pictures of you, but I'm still gonna take some." I told him and he sighed. He just nodded his head.

"Fine that sounds good to me." He said and I smiled. I went up and kissed him playing with my purity ring like I do when I'm nervous. "What's wrong? I can feel you playing with your ring." He said and I smiled at how well he new me.

"Nothing is wrong, I'm just nervous about tonight. Something doesn't feel right." I told him and he nodded, pulled me in to his arms and just kept me there.

Best moment of my life.

**Degrassi**

"So Melissa, why don't you tell us about yourself." Mom said as we all gathered around the table eating. It was Mom at one end, in front of her was Madison, the on the left was me, Eli, and Brianna. On Madison's right was Lane then Melissa then an empty chair. It got quiet as I stared her down.

"Well, I love to shop, think cleaning up is a maid's job, and um, don't like people all that much." She said and I just about got up, but Eli kept me down. "Oh and I can't stand little siblings. Thank god I'm an only child. There just trying to steal my attention that I worked so hard for."

"So Lane, what did you do to the skank that you have to stay with her?" I ask him and his head went down. Eli was trying hard not to laugh and Brianna blurted out the first thing that came to her.

"Are you having a baby like that blonde skank Jenna is?" She ask and Lane's eyes got big.

"Not now Brianna." He whispered to her. I just gave him a look.

"So she is? So who's the girl that was in Mom's place. What's her name? Did Melissa tell you that if you didn't dump her you wouldn't ever see your child? Ah history repeats its self again." I told him and he had his head down.

"Blue Eyes you need to sit down and calm down. Let's talk about this like normal people do. I get your angry but please just-" I was still standing up not looking at anyone and angry. He grabbed my hands gently. "Hey look at me." I stared into his dark green eyes and calmed down a little. "Just relax and calm down." I just nodded my head still staring into his eyes. "That's better."

"Look, Clare I know your thinking this is pay back for all those times and your probably right. Just please, can we be civil about all this?" He ask and I just stared hard at him.

"Why? I've given you plenty of chances. I'm going to be honest with you. When you first came down here I thought you would be the brother I've always wanted. So you weren't, but that's because God made you the brother I _needed_ to grow up. He had better things for me and all the crap you put us through is to make me stronger." I told him and he sighed. Eli had his hand intertwined with mine under neath the table. "All of us, stronger."

"Okay, yes, I get that. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry because of me you had CPS called on you twice, and that I ignored you all those times, I'm sorry on all of it. You have to understand I also tried with you." He said and I nodded. He did try with me and I was a little blessed. I blew up the idea of a relationship cause of how I was just scared all together.

"I new either you or Taylor would end up in Dad's foot steps." I told him with a smirk and he just rolled his eyes. Eli looked over at me with questioning eyes.

"Who in the world is Taylor?" He ask me and I had to laugh. He didn't know much still, but it was cute that he was trying.

"Taylor is my Dad's littlest and only brother. We thought maybe he would end up like him cause of the girl his was with at the time. I can't stand the girl he's with now." I told him and he laughed.

"You just don't like many people now do you?" He ask me looking in to my eyes and I just shrugged like it was nothing cause it wasn't. "Is it a good thing that I'm liked by you?" He ask me and I laughed.

"Yea, but I've always been a little boy obsessed." I said and just then Lane broke through.

"A little? If I remember correctly I was the one who came to you when you were crying your eyes out on that boy back in eight grade." Lane said with a smirk. I just glared. "You said something about it just being a crush, but I said a crush was love."

"And your still wrong to this day. A crush is when your attracted to someone by their appearance or how they look. Love is when you see deeper beyond there looks and to their soul. I had a crush on him cause of his looks, and I think cause he was popular at the time." I said and Eli laughed. "What's so funny Mister Smirks A Lot?" I ask him and he just smirked at me.

"I can't see you trying to become popular. Its just not you. The girl you show me is one who don't care what people thinks and doesn't have emotions on her face." He said and I just looked at him with a blank expression like always. "Like right now your confused." Everyone looked at him bewilder.

"How did you do that? I can't ever read her face or anything. She leaves me guessing." Mom said and Eli laughed a little. "You have to be the boy for her cause no other guy has been able to do that before. Plus, how long have you been together now?" She ask us.

At the same time we both answered. "Three months." We looked at each other and laughed. Mom smiled and gave me a surprised expression.

"You've lasted this long then that means you really are a keeper. The only other one who lasted that long was K.C and that was because that was her 'first love'." Mom said putting air quotes around first love. I just smiled then Melissa interrupted us.

"Excuse me, but I thought we were here to meet the family not have your sister hogging attention that's clearly yours at the moment." She said. Oh no she just didn't. Eli gave her terrified look.

"You shouldn't have just said that." He said while Lane just nodded his head agreeing with him. I just smirked wondering where to began. I still had a blank expression on my face so she couldn't tell anything.

"What she looks fine to me." She said with a shrug like she didn't really care. I stood up.

"Your in for it now." Brianna said with a huge grin and a laugh. She liked seeing me get angry with people as long as it wasn't certain people. I could tell she didn't really like her though. She had been quiet the entire time.

"Yea, you shouldn't of made her mad." Madison said sitting back in her chair with her arms crossed enjoying the show.

"Its not my fault she wants to be an attention hog and brat." Melissa said staring at everyone with innocent eyes. Oh its on now.

"Hey don't you dare call my girlfriend a brat or an attention hog. Clearly that's you from the way you talk." Eli said and I smiled at him for defending me, but I can fight my own battles.

"So how did she mange to get someone as cute as you? What's she lying about?" She ask and that's when I lost it.

"Don't you dare go accusing me of anything. You know nothing about my life or the stuff I've gone through. Your Mommy and Daddy buy you everything I bet. I bet your a Daddies girl and he buys everything for his little Princess." My Mom cringed at that word. "I'm sorry bout that word Mom." I went back to Melissa. "I bet you get everything handed to you, well sorry to disappoint you honey, but this is the real world now get a reality check and don't tell me what I am and what I'm not." I said and she gave me a scared look once I got done. I just smiled.

"I thought you said they were your normal family. I can't be apart of this family Lane. Once this baby is born you can have him or her. I don't want it anyway. You have about four months left to prepare. Goodbye." She said and left the house. It stayed quiet for a little while til Lane looked at me.

"Thank you Clare. I new I could count on my little sister to help me out." He said and we did a little hand shake. He gave me a hug. "And Eli, after this test, you just passed. You can keep dating my sister." Lane said and we smirked. Then it hit Eli.

"Wait, you had this all planed?" He ask us and we just nodded. "Yea, I'm staying on your good side from now on. You scare me a little when you get angry." He said and I laughed.

"Yea those anger management classes didn't help me that much. I've come a long way though." I said and he smiled and went up to me and kissed me.

"Yea, well, I'll take you the way you are any day. You know where your going with life and that's what I love about you. Your different from other girls cause you know what you want and won't take no for an answer." I smiled and Lane just laughed.

"Thanks again Clare. I owe it to you big time. Anything you want just name it and you got it." He said and I smiled. I liked that idea. I thought about it.

"As long as I can still see my little niece or nephew I'm good. Don't act the way your mom did to our dad. I want a part in that baby's life. I am the Aunt after all." I told him and he nodded.

"Yea can I be in on the little plan you two hatched?" Eli ask and we laughed. Lane explained it since it was his idea.

"You see, I didn't like this girl, but wanted to be in my baby's life. Clare and I had a plan. She only new about the first half of it. I did the second half on my own. I would say bad things about Clare so the girl would call her names and get Clare angry. No one likes her when shes mad. It worked. The second half was to see if you were worthy enough of my sister's love. To see if you would stick up for her without hitting the girl since its not nice for a guy to do. You passed it." Lane said finishing his story. Eli looked shocked.

"You know, the more I get to know your family and see how strange you all are, the more I love it. Even Sandy comes home talking about how much she loves it here. She really loves you Clare." Eli said and I laughed. Lane gave us a confused look.

"Who's Sandy?" He ask and I went into serious mood. Eli just stood there.

"Sandy is my new step daughter. She's Eli's three year old daughter." I said and Lane's mouth shot open.

"Y-y-your s-s-ser-serious?" He ask stuttering a little. I just nodded my head. Mom came in.

"Stop messing with your brother. Lane its not true. Sandy is Eli's eight year old sister. She's Brianna's best friend." She said walking up stairs.

"What can I say I learn from the best." I told him and he just rolled his eyes. I laughed and he left the house. Just then I looked at Eli. "Hey I think I'm ready." I told him.

"Ready for what?" He ask me and I took in a big sigh. I took his hand and lead him up stairs to my bed room. We got to my door and I looked him strait in the eyes.

"I'm ready for you to know about my past." I said and he nodded as we went into the bedroom.

* * *

_So, here is another chapter! I hope you like it and I'm not sure how much longer this story has! Its just kind of a go with the flow story! =)_

_Well, I hope you will review it! This story is kinda boring me so I'm sorry if its not that good! I'm working on another story, but wont post it til I have it_ **COMPLETELY** _finished! That way it won't seem boring! =)_

_Welp, I'm glad you all like this story so far! Its kinda weird, and confusing I know! If you have questions please_ **DON"T**_ be afraid to ask!_

_Bye for now! =)_


	14. Going Back To Memories

**Welcome To My Messed Up Life**

Chapter 14

_Going Back To Memories_

* * *

We were sitting in my room. He just stared at me a little. I was about to tell him everything. I started from the beginning. I took in a deep breath and started right from the start.

"When my parents were about twenty and seventeen they got bored at their houses a lot. My grandmothers worked together so they hocked them up. It was going good til about a while later. My Daddy wanted something Momma wouldn't give him. Sex. He got mad broke up with her and went after Lane's mom. Well, he went back after my mother but then got threaten that if he did he wouldn't ever see his child again. Cut it short after not even being together two months he broke up with her and got with my mom. They got married not long after then a little over an year after Lane being born Darcy was born."

"I can't believe your dad would do that to your mom. Some guys are just heartless." Eli said and I laughed. In my thoughts it just made there relationship stronger. That was me though.

"Yea and that's how all that got to be." I told him and he just held me a little longer. "The worst ever was finding out my grandfather had lung cancer."

"How did you find out about that?" He ask me.

"Well." I said going off into flashbacks.

_We were on the way home. Darcy had done fell asleep along with Madison and Brianna. Darcy was eleven almost twelve. I was almost ten while Madison had just turned eight. Brianna was almost three. She wouldn't remember much of what was going on._

_It was dark and quiet. I hadn't ever heard it this quiet with my three sisters a sleep. I didn't really know what lung cancer was at the time. I had heard my friends talk about it and the school but I knew nothing about it. The grown ups had said so much about it that I didn't know what it was but wanted too._

_"Mom?" I said quietly watching the road ahead of us as we were on our way home._

_"Yes baby?" She ask me. She sounded like she had been crying but I wasn't sure at the time. I was only nine. Darcy told me we wouldn't have Grandpa much longer but I just told her she had been lying. He would always be there._

_"Does Grandpa have lung cancer?" I ask her and she stopped breathing for a minute. I looked at her confused as to why she would stop breathing when I heard that four word sentence._

_"Yes sweetie, he does." She said and I just sat back in my seat._

_"Oh." Was all I manged to get out. How was I suppose to know the rumors were true. I thought they were all lying and just trying to get me mad._

"They just told you like it was nothing?" He ask me and I nodded my head. "How many deaths have you dealt with in your life?" He ask me and I started counting on my fingers.

"That I really remember real good then there was six of them. My cousin being first, a year later my Grandfather, three years later my Great Aunt, that same year Benny, then about a year later my Grandma and Dad." I told him and he just sat back thinking about it.

"How have you manged to get through all this without just killing yourself? Sorry if I hit a rough spot on you. Your always smiling and putting people before yourself." He said and I sighed.

"Its tough. There have been times I've took a shower seen a razor and just think life would be easier. I don't do it though." I told him and he smiled at me.

"I'm glad you don't do that. If it was me I would've done been gone by now. How do you really do it?" He ask me and I sighed asking him one question.

"Do you really wanna know?" I ask him as he nodded. "I think about all the people that I have to help a day. I think about my family. What kinda example I would be setting for my sisters. Mostly everytime I try I see my Grandpa and Grandma giving me evil looks." I told him and he gave me a weird look.

"Well, I'm glad that's who you see. If it makes you stop and think. Next time, if you think you want to, call me. I don't care what time of day it is. You call me. Got it?" He ask me and I smiled at how caring he was.

"I got it. Dang, now I'm gonna tell you about why we came here." I told him and he moved around to get comfortable. I didn't like what I did, but it will live with me from now on.

"Okay, if you don't want to then you don't have to. You can some other time." He said as he was playing with my hair. I hated people playing with my hair, but, I had to admit, when he did it, it made it feel so damn good. "Clare? Earth to Clare." He said and I jumped up making him laugh. "Enjoying it?"

"Yes, yes I was." I told him and he laughed. I sighed getting ready to tell the story. "What they did to her was just so horrible Eli. I mean it Eli and there wasn't really anything I could do." He just gave me a look. I sighed and with that started my story.

_Darcy was on the way to pick up Madison and me. She had been really quiet and it was starting to scare me. What was going on that brain of hers? Did some jack ass try and start stuff again? Here we go again. I pray to god she is okay._

_"Maddi?" All I got was silence. Great. Just freaking great. "Maddi how was school today?" I ask her with a smile. They got the biggest smile from her I had ever seen._

_"Clare I had the greatest day ever. I got some dudes number today. Can you believe it? I got it today, not you. Wow, it feels amazing. I'm gonna catch up with you on the guys." She told me with a laugh. I just smiled happy for her but then something was bothering me at the same time._

_"So are they in your grade? What's his name? Oh, is he cute? You know, you could go on a double date with me and my boyfriend now." I told her with a nudge. She just smiled and laugh._

_"Slow down with questions. Let's see if I can answer them all. Um, no he's not in my grade, um, I don't remember what he said his name was, and of course he's cute." She told me, but I paused when she said he wasn't in her grade._

_"Is he in my grade?" I ask her and she nodded her head. Oh please no. Hell no don't let it be... "Is his name Austin?" I ask her and she nodded her head egarly. Oh shit no. It can't be._

_"Yea Clare that's his name. He gave me his number and said he new you. Something about something. I wasn't listening just staring into his very blue eyes." She said dreamy._

_"You can't go out with him." I told her and she got this evil look on her face. I started to explain. "Maddi, they annoy the hell out of me at school. Him and his best friend both. So, just no. Your not aloud to go out with him." I told her and she got even more mad at me._

_"Your just jealous, cause a boy actually likes me! For once its not you! I can do whatever I want and your not the boss." She told me walking to the car. I sighed. The rest of the way home it was quiet._

_..._

_I was texting my boyfriend about what all was going on and he told me he'd go kick some ass if needed to be. I just laughed, and then baby Zoey came to the house for me to babysit._

_"Mom, I just don't get it. I've known this guy since kindergarten and he's nothing special." I told her and she sighed. She didn't know what to say til Madison came outside wanting to call the dude._

_We went to call him just to get his best friends answering machine. I thought that number had looked familiar. It was the same number I had seen on facebook. Ah, so that's how this dude wanted it to be played? Fine, bring it on. I was still mad, more like furious at what was going on._

_"You were right Clare. You always are." Maddi told me in a whisper voice. This one thing I didn't want to be right on though. "I don't get why I don't ever listen to you."_

_"Its okay Madison. Tomorrow he won't know what got him.' I told her with an evil glare. She just sighed going to our bedroom. It being only a three bedroom house and all._

_..._

_The next day at school I went up to the two boys and beat the hell out of them. They didn't see it coming, but the principal's came and took me off the boys. I was kicking and screaming not wanting to let them get away with what they did to my sister. If anybody was gonna stand up for her, it was me._

_"Put me the hell down you stupid ass dude. I wasn't done with them yet. I was gonna make sure they didn't have babies once they got older. Put me the fuck down!" I screamed and as a result that got me kicked out of school. Apparently you weren't aloud to cuss the principal's out._

"Wow, that's quiet a story you got there." Eli told me once I finished. He sighed looking at me. This was when he would run, since my anger problems weren't the best in the world. "I would have done the same thing for my sister. You have nothing to worry about." He told me kissing my hair. "Why don't you tell me why your last boyfriend didn't work out."

"He was a jackass." I said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, which it was. He just laughed at me making me smile.

"I kinda figured that one out, but what exactly was it?" He ask me and I sighed. I wasn't going into memory on this one. "Well, anytime now Blue Eyes. The floor is all yours."

"He ask me were I shaved at." I told him and he gave me a strange look so I continued. "I broke up with him for it not being use to anything at all with it. He got with another girl the next day. It didn't last long, so after that he got with the girls best friend. They broke up after a while so I got on my friends my yearbook and messed with his head. He found out and wanted to get back with me. I was so angry that I did the first thing to pop in mind."

"And that was?" Eli ask waving his hand in the air. I giggled.

"I had my best friend flirt with him, knowing she would fall for him. My family was already pissed that I couldn't keep a guy for longer than ten seconds so it just seemed easier to do it this way. They talked and everything and she did end up liking him. I new he liked her back when he tried hooking me up with one of his friends. He didn't seem to bad til..." I trailed off not liking this part cause it meant I was right again about something I didn't really wanna be right about.

"Til...?" Eli questioned me and I sighed.

"He ask her to send a picture of her with no shirt or bra on. It angered us both considering we made a promise to our self and each other to not do anything til we were married. Its sad that's what he did, but its true." I told him then had a sad smile on my face. "I miss Bella a lot. She still don't know about my cutting." I told him and he looked at me.

"Tell me the story of it please?" He ask and I smiled and nodded my head.

_I was in the bathroom taking my bath one night. It was loud. Brianna and Madison were fighting, while mom did nothing about it. I was always left for that. Darcy was listening to music with her head phones trying to block the little two out. Just then mom and dad started screaming at each other._

_I sighed then I got to thinking. How much stress I had been in the last two weeks. Test, school, drama, boys, friends, helping others, Bella's family, my family, and having responsibilities that I shouldn't have. It got to much to bare._

_I looked over and saw a razor. I had watched T.V and heard kids talk about it at school. I wanted to see if it actually helped relive the stress I was under that no one new about._

_I took the pink razor in my hand and put it up to my right wrist. I let a small rip at it and it hurt like hell. I sighed in pain and panicked when it wouldn't stop bleeding. I cried for my mom._

_"Momma! Please come here quick! I'm bleeding!" She ran in the bathroom to help me and sighed when she saw where it was at. I came up with a lame excuse._

_"Why would you do this? Do we need to worry about you?" Now I didn't need attention on me so I shook my head 'no'. I just wanted them to stop fighting and it worked._

_"I was bored and just saw it laying there. I didn't think nothing of it and put it up to my wrist. I'm sorry to worry you like this. It won't happen again." I told her and she nodded. I smiled one thing going through my head._

_It did help make the stress go away._

Eli stayed silent. That made me a little nervous. Was he mad at me for trying something almost a year ago? I hoped not. I had only done that once. I couldn't do it again since I made a promise. I plan on keeping it that way. He looked over at me with his hands together in his lap.

"Your not lying to me when you say you never tried that again. Right?" He ask me and I nodded my head. He sighed. "If I could change your past I would. Believe me. Since I can't I'll just help you out now right in the present." He told me and I smiled. He leaned down and gave me a kiss. "So tell me about your old group of friends. Any good stories?" I just laughed.

"I didn't have any friends." I told him with a little lie, but he saw threw it with the smile on my lips.

"I know you better than that. Besides, you said something about always being at a Bella's house anyway." He told me with a smirk and I sighed. "Ah ha, you do have stories to share. Please do tell." He told me with a huge smirk.

"Well, okay. There was three of us. Its was Bella, Bailey, and me. We went to eat Chinese after our ninth and tenth grade year. To start off summer. Well, I wasn't paying attention and started dropping it like it was hot in the parking lot. We looked over and there was a group of guys from school staring at us." I told him and he had a serious look on his face before he busted out laughing.

"That is the funniest story I've ever heard." He told me rolling on my bed laughing so hard. I just huffed and crossed my arms. I then started laughing with him.

"It was pretty funny. Then, Bella was really bad about not wanting attention while me and Bailey didn't care, so she started doing it with me. Bella has it on video somewhere from when we stayed at her house. Oh my gosh, you get us together and you'll, you know what never mind." I told him. He didn't need to know anything about that kinda stuff.

"Nah, I wanna know. You've got me curious now." Eli said with a smirk. I just slapped him. Just then Brianna came in. She went to where we were and sat right on Eli's lap. He got a better grip on her and rested his chin on her head.

"So what we talking about? Teenage stuff? I can be a teenager too." She said and I laughed.

"Were talking about her two friends Bella and Bailey." Eli said and Brianna's eyes lit up.

"Clare you gotta call Bella. I miss her _sooo_ much." She said and I laughed. She had always loved Bella. Bella didn't like her as much.

"Wait, you have her number and yet, she hasn't ever met your boyfriend. Isn't that against the girl code or something?" He ask me and I sighed. I got my phone out and called Bella.

"Hello?" A voice ask. "Clare is that you? Oh my gosh, me and Bailey had just thought about calling you." She said and I laughed.

"Yea its me. I have my boyfriend and Bria here with me." I told her and she about jumped out of the phone.

"Hey Clare oh and your on speaker phone. Bella just gave me the phone and went screaming something about 'Finally' all the way threw the house." Bailey said with a giggle. I laughed with her. "So, is your boyfriend that picture you sent with something about getting dissed by Madison? If it is then man is he hot. How did you get that lucky?" She ask me and I laughed.

"Yea that would be me." Eli said with a smirk. I just rolled my eyes. Of course he would be so smug at this moment. "Hi, I'm Eli, and which one are you?" He ask and I laughed.

"Oh my gosh, your just lucky Clare has you. If she didn't you would so be mine." Bailey said and I busted out laughing. Bailey only acts like this if she hasn't took her medication.

"You didn't take your medication today did you?" I ask her and she sighed but was still jumping up and down I could tell. You could hear it through the phone. "Bailey? Did you?"

"No she didn't Clare. You need to hurry back home. I thought your mom said it would only be for a little while that you would be down there? We miss you up here. Its so freaking boring." Bella complained. "And nothing personal, but your little boyfriend is so freaking gay looking."I laughed. I new she would say something like this.

"Hey! I heard that." Eli said like he was about to cry. I just laughed.

"You were meant to." Bella said and he sat there complaining for a little while.

"Eli you need to shut up! Its just how Bella and Bailey are. May as well get use to it." I told him while the other two laughed. Just then Brianna took the phone from me.

"Bella you need to get down here. I love all Clare's new friends, but I miss you and Bailey. Its boring without you here. You would put Clare in her place and it was funny." Brianna said and I just rolled my eyes and laughed. Just then Eli pined me under him and started kissing. "Eww, guys that's gross." Brianna said making me laugh in the kiss.

"What's going on?" I heard Bella ask and Brianna still had a gross look on her face. I ignored the look and went back to kissing Eli. Before I knew it Eli was licking my lips wanting to enter. I gave him access and started moaning not long afterwords. "Are they making out?" Bella ask.

"It sounds like it Bella. Just ignore it and talk to Brianna. I'll have to ask her later if it was any good." Bailey said and I had to stop kissing him laughing so hard.

"Thanks for the statement. The kissing was getting good and you ruined it making her laugh." Eli said groaning and I laughed even more.

"You shouldn't be doing that in front of your sister." Bella said and I laughed. Out of no where I heard a baby scream. "Ugh, Zoey needs to shut the hell up. She keeps crying and won't stop."

"Put my baby on the phone now Bella. Oh my gosh she just turned a year old and I missed it." I said and Bella laughed. I sent her some stuff though.

"I'll put her on and you sent her that talking baby doll. She won't leave the house anymore unless she has that thing." Bella said with a groan while Bailey laughed. "Here she is." Bella said. Just then baby talking came from the other end.

"Hi Zoey! How's my baby girl doing?" I ask and again she went off with the baby talk. She would say something then laugh. Mostly she was going off with a 'Momma' or a 'Dadda'. I thought it was cute. "I miss you Zoey! Bye baby girl." I said and got a response to that one.

"Bye bye." Zoey said and then Bella came back on with Bailey. You could still here Zoey which meant Bailey had her in her arms. Bella didn't want much to do with Zoey.

"Are you guys babysitting?" I ask with a laugh. She had a dry laugh which meant they were. "Bailey must have offered it to your mom."

"Yes and I killed her for it." Bella said then went to talking to Eli. "You better not hurt my sister. If you do I will personally find you and kick your ass. You got it?" Bella ask and I could see the fear in Eli's eyes.

"Yes ma'am." He said and I laughed.

We talked a little bit more than hung up. I looked at the phone and seen we had talked for over two hours. Gosh, how I missed them. I didn't think I could go this long without my two best friends, but I some how managed too. We freaked Eli out when Bailey remembered that we were technically still going out. Eli thought we were for real til all of us busted out laughing.

"So what do you think of my two best friends in the entire world?" I ask him and he sat there thinking for a little while. I laughed at his thinking face and he just smiled at me.

"They were interesting. I didn't know you of all people would have friends that crazy. It just makes me wonder of all your crazy fun times." He said and I laughed at him. He wasn't finding any of that out. "Hey can I see you phone for a minute? I some how managed to delete Adam's number and don't get how I did that." He told me and I nodded my head. He took it and put numbers in. "Really Clare? Taylor Lautner for your wall paper?" He ask me and I laughed.

"Hey, you have to admit that he's hot!" I told him and next thing I know he was on top of me tickling me like no tomorrow. I was laughing so hard by now.

"You need to take that back. I should be the only one you call hot." He said and I started laughing harder.

"Fine, fine, fine. Your the only guy I think that's hot." I told him and he stopped and kissed me on the lips. I started kissing back, but he was still on top.

"Besides, to me, your one very sexy woman." He said and I blushed but started laughing. "Epically with that blush of yours." He said and went back to kissing me. Ah, the things this boy does to me.

* * *

_I'm sorry it was so late! We had a lot going on and well here it is! =) I'm in a rush so I'll explain the next chapter!_

_Bye for now!_


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